Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Regressing the Future

The future has a way of arriving unannounced. In two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Past-life regression involves placing a person under hypnosis and prompting them to regress back through their childhood to a time before they were born. In many cases, the person is able to recall his/her life (or lives) before the present lifetime, as well as their experience between lives, including the planning of their present life.

This method is sometimes used to deal with a current health problem. The hypnotherapist is often able to "reconfigure" the past-life experience of the patient, causing the psychological or physical ailment to disappear.

Many hypnotherapists specialize in past-life regression, including Dr. Adrian Finkelstein, Dr. Dick Sutphen, Dr. Edith Fiore, Dr. Joel Whitton, Dr. Roger Woolger, Dr. Hazel Denning, Dr. Winifred Lucas, etc. Many have written books on this subject, including Dr. Brian Weiss who wrote MANY LIVES, MANY MASTERS in 1988. It sold 1.5 million copies.

Dr. Helen Wambach, Ph.D. Psychology, had been a skeptic of past life regression. In 1975, she initiated a study on over 10,000 people to find out if there was any truth to reincarnation. The results were remarkable.

1) 50.6 percent reported past lives as males, 49.4 percent as females. The exact biological percentage.

2) The variation of people within upper and lower income groups was exactly the same class distribution proportionality within historical time periods.

3) The incidence of "famous" people was extremely rare.

4) Recall of everyday life (food, clothing, shelter, daily life, etc.) was highly accurate according to historians.

5) In some cases, the person being regressed remembers details of incidents with astonishing accuracy which are verified by historians.

6) In some cases, the person regressed begins to speak in an unlearned foreign language (old dialect).

7) In some cases, the alleged cause of death in an immediate past life is reflected by a birthmark in the present life.

"I don't believe in reincarnation; I know it." she boasted, in 1978, after being dazzled at the results.

Dr. Chet Snow, of Sedona, Ariz., was trained by Dr. Wambach in the early 1980s. Eventually, Dr. Snow and Dr. Wambach pioneered a new technique of hypnotically "progressing" volunteers into future lives.

Dr. Wambach died in 1985, but Dr. Snow continued the project. There were 2,500 subjects who were projected into two specific epochs: 2100-2200 A.D. and beginning in the year 2300 A.D.

Only 5 percent of the subjects experienced a lifetime within the first epoch and 11.5 percent in the second.

Dr. Snow concluded that there will be a massive drop in the world's population, perhaps as great as 90 percent, between now and the 2100-2200 time frame. However, the population will then double by 2300.

This dramatic reduction in global population has all the signs of a world-wide phenomenon of some sort. Perhaps the expected December 21, 2012 event of the solar system traversing through the Dark Rift (the center of the Galaxy) at the end of the great 25,627-year Astrological Age (procession of the equinox) will somehow dramatically affect life on Earth.

Some people believe this event will usher in a collective change in human consciousness whereby deserving souls will ascend into the fourth density (a higher astral plane), leaving the STS (Service To Self) humans behind to remain struggling within the third density Planet Earth. Others believe this event may cause massive earth changes (earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, tectonic plate shifts, magnet anomalies, etc.).

One of the remarkable findings about Dr. Snow's future-life study project was that out of the 500 possible future lifetimes there were only four probable futures in the 2100-2200 era.

1) Some people (space voyagers) would be living on sterile space stations or colonizing other planets
2) Some people (organized city dwellers) would be living in underground or domed hi-tech cities
3) Some people (New-Agers) would be living in ecological-friendly communities in temperate zones
4) Some people (survivalists) would be living in urban ruins or caves or isolated, rustic settlements

In the years 2150-2300, there would be an emergence of clans or tribes of people born with enhanced telepathic and psychic abilities. Ironically, the New Agers in natural surroundings reported to be the happiest of the four groups and by 2300 the space voyagers seemed to have advanced beyond our solar system.

After 2300, there will be a period called the "Outward Wave" where humanity will no longer be bound by the solar system and the concept of 3-D reality will be overshadowed by an evolution of human consciousness. This will also be the beginning of the human race evolving toward immortality.

And if I had to guess, the national debt will be $999 gazillion by 2150 and Congress will be in recess.

If I come back, I sure don't want to live in a space station or an underground city or a domed city. I'll probably be a survivalist, scavenging for food, carrying a big stick, fending off outlaws and laying low.

In other words, my life will pretty much be like it is now. Living in Arkansas is good practice for the future.

Quote for the Day – "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." Thomas Jefferson

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and carries a big stick. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Gender Patterns

A woman is like a TV remote control. She gives a man pleasure and he'd be lost without her. And while he doesn't often know which buttons to push, he keeps trying anyway.

A man is like a fine wine. He starts out as raw grapes, then a woman comes along and stomps all the juice out of him until he turns into something acceptable enough to have dinner with.

Men and women are different. This is something I learned in second grade, and I was a slow learner.

A man named John Gray, Ph.D., wrote a book a few years ago titled MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. It became a best-seller, suggesting that relationships would be better if we acknowledged and accepted gender differences.

Perhaps I wasn't a slow learner after all – perhaps the rest of the world was merely reality impaired.

Gray points out that a woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships, while a man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. A woman is fulfilled by talking about her problems, while a man is fulfilled by solving a problem.

I may not have a Ph.D., but I have enough common sense to have only one ex-wife and no need to repeat the same mistake.

I was married to Miss Right. Unfortunately, I didn't know her first name was Always.

Each gender has a cultural pattern. If a woman doesn't come home one night and tells her husband that she slept over at a friend's house, the man will call his wife's friends and none of them will know anything about it. But if a man doesn't come home one night and tells his wife that he slept over at a friend's house, the woman will call her husband's friends and all of them will say he did sleep over, and three of them will claim he's still there.

Norah Vincent is a 5' 10" lesbian from New York. She is also a journalist. With a new buzz haircut, baggy men's clothing, a sports bra (to flatten her breasts), a padded jock strap, some five-o'-clock shadow makeup and extensive vocal training, she transformed herself into the facsimile of a man named Ned Vincent.

Norah/Ned then spent 18 months observing what men were really like when hanging around with other men.

This experiment included joining a men's bowling league, going to strip joints with the guys and participating in a men-only camping retreat. She chronicled her eye-opening experiences in a book titled SELF MADE MAN.

During the 18 month saga, Ned also managed to go on about 30 dates with other women.

She claimed the pressure of being a man having to prove himself to a woman was grueling and that dating women wasn't much fun. She believes female sexuality is mental but for a man it's an urge.

No kidding.

Shopping for a new car at a dealership was another revelation. In the past, as Norah, the salesman's pitch quickly turned flirtatious, but as Ned the tone was all business and the talk centered on the car's performance.

And when a man opens a car door for a woman, it's either a new car or a new woman.

Norah was surprised to see that men struggled with vulnerability. "They don't get to show the weakness, they don't get to show the affection, especially with each other. And so often all their emotions are shown in rage."

Yes indeed, men and women differ emotionally. When a woman is miffed, she will either eat or go shopping. Men will invade another country.

For a woman, communication is sharing of feelings with one's partner. For a man, communication is leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip.

For a woman, being vulnerable means opening up one's inner self emotionally to others. For a man, being vulnerable means playing football without a cup.

Personally, I want a woman who is honest and one who has a good sense of humor and one who is a good worker and one who will admire me. Naturally, it's important these four women don't know each other.

If you have a good partner, you'll be happy.

If you have a bad partner, you'll become a philosopher.

Quote for the Day – "You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." Erica Jong

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and occasionally has an urge to invade another country, like Sweden or Brazil or Kentucky. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Bilderberg Group

It has been said that power corrupts. But the ultimate truth is that positions of power attract the corruptible among us.

In 1954, a group of powerful men and women met in the Bilderberg Hotel in Holland to form an alliance whose purpose was to organize the world in a manner suitable to their liking.

This alliance, known as the Bilderberg Group, was made up of 120 prominent businessmen, politicians and European royalty, and has held annual meetings ever since in posh locations in Europe or North America to influence the fate of the world.

These annual meetings are held in total secrecy Reporters and other outsiders are prevented from attending, or even entering the premises, by armed security forces, and not a word of what is said in a Bilderberg meeting can be breathed outside. Meetings are held behind closed doors and the minutes are not published.

Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands, former member of the SS within the Nazi Party, a Bilderberg Group founder, stated, “It’s difficult to reeducate the people who have been brought up on nationalism to the idea of relinquishing part of their sovereignty to a supernatural body.”

According to former Bilderberg delegate Will Hutton, a British economist, the meetings are the “backdrop against which policy is made worldwide.”

The primary goals of the Bilderberg Group are a one-world government, a one-world monetary system and a vast reduction in world population. And to no one’s surprise, the Bilderbergers would like very much to be in charge of that government.

Bilderberger George McGhee, former U.S. Ambassador to Germany, contends, “the Treaty of Rome, which brought the European Market into being was nurtured at Bilderberg meetings.”

In the 1998 Bilderberg meeting, one of the decisions was to encourage British Prime Minister Tony Blair to press harder for Britain’s entry into the European Union, another step toward one-world government.

British journalist Tony Gosling claims, “I first heard about the determination of U.S. forces to attack Iraq from leaks that came out of the 2002 Bilderberg meeting.”

In 2009, the annual Bilderberg meeting took place in Greece whereby participants apparently came to an agreement that in order to achieve their objective of a New World Order that the U.S. dollar needed to be completely destroyed. Investigative reporter Daniel Estulin reported that the plan to totally destroy the economy and ultimately reduce the global population by 80 percent has caused concerns within the Bilderberg Group that the resulting chaos could lead to the global elitists losing control of the world.

As reported by several mainstream news sources, just prior to the Bilderberg meeting in Greece, a group of global elitists held a "secret" meeting at the behest of David Rockefeller (New World Order advocate) in New York where the main topic was to plot the demise of the U.S. dollar.

Not surprisingly, president Obama continues to be a one-man train wreck on the U.S. economy, plunging the country further and further into unprecedented debt.

Gary Dorsch, editor of GLOBAL MONEY TRENDS, observes: “No one is asking who will purchase the $1-trillion of U.S. Treasuries to be offered to the market by September. Once that colossal amount of paper is bought, who will purchase another $5-trillion of Treasury paper over the next four-years, as the US-government plunges deeper into insolvency.”

After the deliberate collapsing of the U.S. Dollar, the Bilderberg plan for the Global economy calls for something called Special Drawing Rights issued by the International Monetary Fund (privately controlled by global elitists).

The International Monetary Fund elitists already have plans to print billions of dollars worth of a global "super-currency" to address the economic crisis they created in the first place. A one-world currency is the next step toward a one-world government.

Critics of the Bilderberg Group claim that they coercively manipulate global finances and establish rigid, binding monetary rates around the world. The Group selects political figures they believe will further their cause and targets those who oppose their goals. This strategy guarantees the propagation of their own power and the enrichment of its members, often at the expense of human rights and environmental concerns.

Like it or not, a small group of powerful people in high places are meeting regularly and secretly to manipulate world affairs.

Our currency says it all: Novus Ordo Seclorum – New World Order. Perhaps a one-world government has been in the works for a long time.

The global elitists control the global monetary system, the mainstream media, the military-industrial complex and government leaders. They want it all under one central command and have a strong desire to vastly reduce the global population.

There have even been discussions among the global elitists about implanting chips within the human population to aid in their command and control over their global empire.

Life is simple -- Live free or die.

Quote for the Day – "I wish to be remembered that I was the last man in my tribe to surrender my rifle." Sitting Bull (Holy Man of the Hunkpapa Lakota Sioux, 1831-1890)

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and has a strong desire to live in a world without being manipulated by greed-heads behind closed doors. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Friday, July 17, 2009

Fifty Years Ago -- 1959

In 1959, I was in junior high school in a suburb of Minneapolis. I had two things on my mind – Judy Ballet and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. That summer, Judy Ballet and her family moved to California before I got up enough nerve to ask her out and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

The following events also took place in 1959.

Jan 1 – Fidel Castro led Cuban rebels to victory over Fulgencio Batista who fled to the Dominican Republic. Castro then took over the country of Cuba.

Jan 3 – President Eisenhower signed a proclamation admitting Alaska as the 49th state into the Union.

Jan 7 – The USA recognized Castro's new government in Cuba.

Jan 9 – "Rawhide" with a young actor named Clint Eastwood premiered on CBS TV

Jan 25 – The jet age in the USA opened with an American Airlines (Boeing 707) flight from Los Angeles to New York

Feb 1 – The patent for the Integrated Circuit was requested by Texas Instruments

Feb 3 – A plane crash near Clear Lake, Iowa, killed rock-n-roll stars Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. (The Big Bopper) Richardson.

Feb 6 – The USA successfully test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile, for the first time, from Cape Canaveral

Feb 17 – The USA launched its first weather station into space

Mar 3 – The first U.S. probe (Pioneer 4) was launched into orbit

Mar 9 – The Barbie doll was introduced by the Mattel Toy Company

Mar 12 – Both houses of Congress approved the statehood of Hawaii

Mar 16 – The last documented Civil War veteran died

Mar 29 – The movie "Some Like it Hot" starring Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis premiered

Apr 9 – NASA announced the first 7 astronauts – Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Wally Schirra, Alan Shepard and Donald Slayton

Apr 26 – Cuban guerillas attempted an invasion of Panama but were suppressed by Panamanian forces

Apr 28 – Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France

May 1 – West Germany introduced a 5-day work week

May 10 – Armed Forces from the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan

May 19 – In Vietnam, construction of the Ho Chi Minh Trail was begun to facilitate troops and supplies from North Vietnam to support the revolution in South Vietnam

May 20 – Japanese-Americans regained their U.S. citizenships from World War II

May 30 – Josef Mengele became a citizen of Paraguay

Jun 16 – George Reeves, star of the TV series "Superman," died from a supposed suicide

Jun 25 – The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres of privately owned land under a new reform law

Jul 26 – There was a nuclear meltdown at a Rocketdyne field laboratory 30 miles northwest of downtown Los Angeles, causing hundreds of future cases of cancer in the community

Aug 10 – My 15th birthday – old enough to get a driver's license in the state of Minnesota. Wouldn't get my first speeding ticket for another 8 months

Aug 17 – A magnitude 7.1 earthquake struck Yellowstone National Park

Sep 7 – I start 10th grade at Robbinsdale High School in Minnesota – state champions in football, wrestling and intimidation. A dozen well-known, top-flight professional wrestlers are produced by the school. It is not for the timid

Sep 12 -- The TV show "Bonanza" premiered on NBC – it would run for 431 episodes

Sep 14 – The Soviet Union launched a space probe, Luna 2, that became the first man-made object to crash into the moon

Sep 26 – A typhoon hit Japan killing 5,000 people

Oct 14 – Actor Errol Flynn died of a heart attack at age 50

Oct 31 – Former U.S. Marine, Lee Harvey Oswald, defected to the Soviet Union

Nov 3 – President Eisenhower laid the cornerstone for the CIA headquarter building in Langley, Virginia

Nov 16 – "The Sound of Music" opened on Broadway – it would run for 1443 performances

Nov 18 – The movie "Ben-Hur" starring Charlton Heston premiered in New York City

Dec 12 – Pantyhose was introduced

Dec 25 – I get a sweater and some socks for Christmas – apparently, Santa ran out of lumps of coal

Dec 31 – The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed the year at 679.36

The number one song of 1959 was THE BATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS by Johnny Horton

"We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down...
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round...
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind...
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind."

Quote for the Day – "There are two keys to success – 1) Don't tell all you know." Woody Paige

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where lost minds are commonplace. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Global Warming Hoax

Isn't it interesting how all our problems seem to be global these days. A global war on terrorism, a global economic crisis, the need for a global currency, global trade, global health concerns, global warming, etc.

It's almost as if someone is pushing for a one-world government, with a one-world monetary system, a one-world police force, a one-world set of rules and a population of obedient worker bees to keep the whole economic engine going at full throttle.

Except for the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group, Pindar, powerful international bankers, Skull and Bones, global elitist power brokers, the Military-Industrial Complex, the CIA, the KGB, the Federal Reserve, the international Communist conspiracy, the Knights of Malta, the Club of Rome, the 13 ruling families of the Illuminati (Rothschild, Bruce, Cavendish, De Medici, Hanover, Hapsburg, Krupp, Plantagenet, Rockefeller, Romanov, Sinclair, Warburg, Windsor) and the ghost of Adam Weishaupt, I can't imagine who would have a motive to create a one-world government and slither their way to the top of the pyramid of power to rule the world.

Global problems, such as global warming, require global solutions.

However, global warming is a myth, perpetrated by various factions that seek to control planet Earth and carried out by the fools who fall for such blatant nonsense.

The surface temperature of Earth has only changed slightly more than one degree Fahrenheit over the last century. Plus, the planet has cycled through ice ages and warm periods many times without human interference.

Steven Milloy has a B.A. in Natural Science and an M.S. in Biostatistics from Johns Hopkins University, and a Juris Doctorate from George Washington University. He was on the judging panel for the American Association for the Advancement of Science Awards and has testified before the U.S. Congress on environmental issues.

Milloy refers to the global warming controversy as the "mother of all junk science." He contends that climate varies naturally and the ongoing climate change is within the natural variation.

The Kyoto Protocol is an agreement among nations to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 8 percent, from the 1990 levels, by 2012. The USA and most of the European Union signatories have been ignoring it.

A Russian study showed that the concentration of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere is approximately 370 PPM (parts per million) and compliance with Kyoto would result in a difference of only one or two PPM by 2012.

Using data provided by those who promote the Kyoto Protocol, if every country complied with the agreement, the average global temperature would be reduced by 0.0015 degrees Centigrade. At this rate, it would take 667 years (and a cost of $100 trillion) to hypothetically forestall global warming by one degree Centigrade.

That's correct -- it will cost $100 trillion to alter the global climate by one degree over a period of 667 years.

Ironically, the Environmental Protection Agency estimates that 25 percent of methane emissions into the atmosphere come from livestock. Globally that's 100 million tons of methane annually.

In 2006, Al Gore recently flew (round trip on a private airplane) from his Tennessee mansion to Hollywood, and was chauffeured around in a stretch limousine, where he accepted an Academy Award for his documentary film, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, which warns of the dangers of global warning and criticizes excessive usage of fossil fuels.

Not only did Gore once proclaim to have invented the Internet, but his film is also filled with exaggeration.

Gore claims virtually all scientists blame humans for global warming when in fact there are vast differences among scientists, including more and more every day who believe global warming is a sham.. Not surprisingly, those scientists who believe in global warming are those who have large government grants to study the issue whereby findings of global warming yields more grants to study the problem further.

Gore claims global warming would raise sea levels 20 feet when 23 inches is the correct amount. He claims polar bears are on the decline but the opposite is true. He fabricated historical temperatures. And so on.

The documentary shows some glaciers that are receding but fails to even mention that other glaciers are actually growing as well. Also, certain glaciers in Alaska have been receding ever since famous outdoor photographer John Muir photographed them back in the 1800s, long before the onset of manmade greenhouse emissions.

The documentary also implies that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide have historically preceded increases in global temperatures. However, a 2005 study in the journal SCIENCE reports that the opposite may have been true in the past -- that higher temperatures may actually precede increased carbon dioxide levels.

There are many non-human causes for global temperature changes. There has been a sharp increase in volcanoes under the oceans, increases in solar activity, complex ocean currents that control local weather systems and many other factors.

Plus, there has actually been a cooling trend since 1998.

With Al Gore, exaggeration and hypocrisy go hand in hand.

Gore's main residence, a 10,000 sq. ft. mansion in Nashville, has 20 rooms, including 8 bathrooms. While urging Americans to "conserve energy by reducing electricity consumption at home," his home devoured 221,000 kilowatt-hours in 2006, compared to the average American who consumes 10,656 kilowatts-hours per year.

Al and Tipper Gore also have a 4,000 sq. ft. home in Arlington, Va., and a third home in Carthage, Tenn.

But the former Vice President has a trick up his sleeve that will excuse him from any harmful environmental excesses. It's a scheme involving "carbon credits" and it would make most professional flimflam artists blush.

Carbon credits are trendy items invented by global warming bullies ostensibly to help the environment. When Gore flies a plane or drives his SUV, he purchases carbon credits. In turn, whoever sold the carbon credits then applies a portion of the proceeds (after expenses) toward some sort of environmental project. Thus, buyers of carbon credits will remain "carbon neutral" since they create a balance between producing and reducing carbon.

Eager to help the environment, Gore buys his carbon credits from Generation Investment Management, LLP, a private, owner-managed partnership, with offices in London and Washington, D.C., established in 2004.

Surprise, surprise -- Gore is the founding partner and chairman of Generation Investment Management, LLP.

In other words, he lives an opulent lifestyle, emitting oodles of carbon, and pays for his excesses by buying carbon credits from his own company, thereby easing his conscience of polluting the planet while turning a profit on the side. He basically writes a check to himself and acts like a hero while alarming the world of pending doom.

Surprise, surprise -- all Academy Award nominees in 2006 received a bundle of prepaid carbon credits in their goody bags. In Hollywood, it's called concern for the environment. In the real world, it's called marketing.

Worldwide carbon credit sales rose from $6 million in 2004 to $110 million in 2006. Lacking government oversight, there's no visibility on overhead or environmental value.

And the Global Warming express rolls on.

On March 20, 2007, Gore testified before the. Senate Environment & Public Works Committee about the emergency of global warming, where he vigorously endorsed a "carbon tax." Naturally, he would be immune from such a tax since he buys carbon credits (from himself).

The world changes; mankind adapts.

Life goes on.

We don't need politicians taxing us for the air we breathe.

And we don't need an all-mighty one-world government lording over us by creating problems that don't exist and enslaving humanity for the pleasure and profit of those at the top.

Quote for the Day – "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." W.C. Fields

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where global warming is usually a daily event, called daylight. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Men and Their Dogs

Dogs are the role model for living life. You can make a fool of yourself and your dog will make a fool of itself too, while laughing with its tail.

HOW TO UNDERSTAND MEN THROUGH THEIR DOGS is a book written by Wendy Diamond, informing women how to judge a man by the breed of dog he owns.

Since I have a keen insight into men and dogs, I can save you the price of the book. I have absolutely no insight into women but it seems irrelevant under the circumstances.

Sporting Dogs, such as pointers, retrievers, setters and spaniels, are field dogs bred for hunting. A man who owns a sporting dog is a lazy outdoorsman who needs a dog to do most of the work, like finding and retrieving game. He also wants a woman who will do most of the work, including stocking and retrieving beer. But he isn’t too keen on pointing, especially someone pointing at him. If you want to be a waitress, this is your guy.

Hounds are used in hunting too but have a different personality. They sniff out a trail and make lots of noise, called baying. When not hunting, hounds are very lazy and spend a lot of time napping. If you want a man who is primarily a couch potato, when he’s not out sniffing around and making lots of noise, a hound man is for you.

Working dogs include boxers, pinchers and huskies. They also include very large dogs such as Great Danes, Rotweilers and Mastiffs. Men who have large dogs, particularly pit bulls, are men who have difficulty coping with the world. They’re macho on the outside and frightened on the inside. Their dog is their protection. Dangerous paranoid men have dangerous paranoid dogs. If you seek danger and paranoia, join the military.

Non-sporting dogs include Bichon Frises, Shar-peis, Lhasa Apsos, Schipperkes and Shiba Inus. These are pretentious dogs with pretentious names. A man who owns one of them is a pretentious man who probably thinks a slick necktie is hot and jazz is cool. He owns a trendy car, wears fashionable clothes, sniffs his brandy and checks for lint. Unless you’re a fashion model or a Capricorn, you won’t be pretentious enough for him.

Terriers are feisty dogs, bred to kill vermin, with little tolerance for other animals, including other dogs. A man who owns a terrier is a feisty man who has little tolerance for others, including his alter ego. If you have a psychological need to have a man snarling at you, find a man who has a terrier.

Toy dogs are miniature versions of the real things. Men with toy dogs are miniature versions of real men, unless they live in an apartment and there’s no room for a bigger dog. They usually have limp wrists and a flair for decorating a room. If you want someone to do your hair, find a toy dog man. Otherwise move on.

Herding dogs are made up of shepherds, collies and other breeds that control the movement of animals, primarily cattle or sheep. They are highly intelligent, easy to maintain and have a natural instinct to nibble at the heels of whatever they are herding. My previous dog was an Australian Cattle Dog, also known as a Queensland Blue Heeler. They are magnificent creatures, much like their owners. Just make sure to keep them from nibbling at your heels, and keep their dogs from nibbling at your heels too.

A mutt is a dog of mixed breed and low status. It’s more carefree than purebreds because it doesn’t have to live up to some meaningless standard. Mutt men don’t live up to meaningless standards either. My current dog is a mutt. As best as anyone can tell, he's part spaniel, part terrier and part goofball. I'm part Swedish, part German, part English and part rebel. He's very good at frolicking with skunks and I'm very good at avoiding the rest of the world. If you want a carefree man of questionable status, find a mutt man. Be sure to check for fleas.

A man without a dog has no soul. If a man has nothing to give a dog, he has nothing to give a woman.

A man with more than two dogs has too much responsibility. If a man pays too much attention to his dogs he has no time for a woman.

Either way, you’ll be ignored.

Owning a cat is like owning a fuzzy rock that changes position once in a while. A man who owns a cat prefers indifference to companionship. If you want to be treated like a fuzzy rock, find a cat man.

Certain dog men make good companions. If you scratch their bellies, they’ll aim to please.

Quote for the Day – "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend." Corey Ford

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and plenty of room to make fools of themselves. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Pope Potpourri

There was a time when the whims of the Catholic Church ruled the world. It's known as the Dark Ages.

On April 2, 2005, Pope John Paul II passed away and was given the Rite of Extreme Unction.

As prescribed by traditional ritual of the Catholic Church in these circumstances, the chamberlain entered the room and asked the Pope, "Are you dead?" The chamberlain then tapped the Pope's head with a silver hammer and repeated the question. Assuming there was no reply, the chamberlain called out the Pope's baptismal name. With no response from the deceased, the chamberlain officially declared the Pope to be dead.

Pope John Paul II was replaced by a German cardinal named Josef Ratzinger who dubbed himself Pope Benedict XVI, not to be confused with Pope Benedict V who raped a young girl in 964 and absconded to Turkey with the papal treasury, or Pope Benedict IX who was so immoral he was forced to flee from Rome in 1032.

As Pope Benedict XVI takes over, a very curious process has been taking place in the procession of Popes.

Nearly a thousand years ago, in 1139, an Irish saint called Malachy met with Pope Innocent II in Rome. Known for his gift of prophecy, Saint Malachy went into a trance and received a vision about the future of the papacy. He described 112 popes who were to follow, beginning with Celestine II who became Pope in 1143.

Saint Malachy gave his list of 112 popes to Pope Innocent II who promptly stored it away in a vault where it remained for more than 400 years until its rediscovery in 1597. Although dismissed by some, Saint Malachy's prophesies have been remarkably accurate right up to the present.

For example, Saint Malachy's descriptions of the previous three Popes include the following.

Pope #108 – Malachy described him as "Flos Florum" which means "flower of the flowers." Pope Paul VI (1963-78) was Giovanni Battista Montini whose coat of arms included three flowers of iris.

Pope #109 – was termed "De Mediatate Lunae" by Malachy which means "from the half moon." Pope John Paul I (1978) was Albino Luciani who was made Pope on August 26, 1978 when the moon was half full and died a month later during the next half moon.

Pope #110 – Malachy called him "De Labore Solis" meaning "out of a solar eclipse." Pope John Paul II (1978-2005) was Karol Josef Wojtyla who was born during a solar eclipse on May 8, 1920.

The Malachy prophesy for Pope #111, the present Pope, is "Gloria Olivae" which means "glory of the olive." This may be a reference to an olive branch which is the Biblical symbol of peace. Perhaps Pope Benedict XVI will become a peacemaker between religions or nations in these troubled times.

Pope #112, the last Pope on the list, is dubbed "Petrus Romanus" by Malachy meaning "Peter the Roman." According to the writings of Saint Malachy, "In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."

The end, indeed.

Jesuit priest Malachi Martin, a close confidante to Popes for some 30 years and author of 16 books about Catholicism, was a Dead Seas Scroll scholar and chief exorcist for the Vatican, having been the role model for the priest in the movie THE EXORCIST. He was one of the few people who had knowledge of the Third Secret of Fatima, a prophesy given to some children in 1917 by the Virgin Mary concerning the future after World War II.

Just prior to his death in 1999, Father Martin claimed that this prophesy predicted terrible wars and diseases that will wipe out whole nations, three days of darkness, violent tornadoes and storms, and parts of the earth being washed into the sea. He believed this would happen not long after Pope John Paul II (#110) passed away.

If your ambition is to become Pope, you'd better get in line quickly. And if you're standing in line behind an Italian named Peter, you may want to consider entering another profession, far inland.

In 1139, St. Malachy described the next 112 popes in startling accurate detail, to be followed thereafter by the End of Days. Pope number 111 is presently at the helm.

A rather interesting set of circumstances.

Quote for the Day – "When I do good, I feel good – when I do bad I feel bad. That's my religion." Abraham Lincoln

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and whose religion consists of everyone minding their own business. His blogs appear on several websites, including

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Precious Bodily Fluids

Fluoride is a byproduct of aluminum manufacturing and fertilizer production. As a common ingredient in rat poison, insecticides and military nerve gas, it's considered a dangerous substance and an environmental pollutant, and is classified as a hazardous material during shipping.

Fluoride is listed in the handbook titled CLINICAL TOXICOLOGY OF COMMERCIAL PRODUCTS as more poisonous than lead and just slightly less poisonous than arsenic.

Independent studies have shown that fluoride causes various mental disturbances, makes people docile, damages bone structure and shortens life spans.

The first use of fluoridated drinking water occurred during World War II when the German pharmaceutical giant, I.G. Farben, utilized it in Nazi prison camps such as Auschwitz in order to force the inmates into a compliant submission.

In 1944, Oscar Ewing became the head of the U.S. Federal Security Agency where he began a campaign to add fluoride to public drinking water. Prior to that, Ewing had been an employee of Alcoa, which controls the global aluminum cartel. Soon, aluminum waste material became a profitable business venture, at a 20,000 percent markup.

According to APPLIED CHEMISTRY, SECOND EDITION by William R. Stine, the fluoride ion in drinking water is responsible for a defective dental condition called mottled enamel. Also known as dental fluorosis, this defect results from disturbance by fluoride of the enamel forming cells during tooth formation and is one of the first signs of chronic fluoride poisoning.

Dr. Hardy Limeback is the head of the Department of Preventative Dentistry at the University of Toronto and the President of the Canadian Association for Dental Research. Once a leading promoter of fluoride in public drinking water, he has since become an opponent of fluoridation. He claims that Canada currently spends more effort on treating dental fluorosis than treating cavities. He also reports lower cavity rates in areas where there is no fluoridation.

According to PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE, “in hypersensitive individuals, fluorides occasionally cause skin eruptions such as atopic dermatitis, eczema, or urticaria. Gastric distress, headache, and weakness have also been reported. These hypersensitive reactions usually disappear promptly after discontinuation of the fluoride.”

Research in the 1970s by the National Cancer Institute showed that more than 10,000 fluoride-linked cancer deaths occur in this country each year.

The Argonne National Laboratories demonstrated in 1989 the ability of fluoride to transform normal cells into cancerous cells.

A study by Proctor and Gamble showed that as little as half the amount of fluoride in public water supplies resulted in a significant increase in genetic damage.

The NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE reported in the March 22, 1990 issue that Mayo Clinic researchers found fluoride treatment of osteoporosis increased hip fracture rate and bone fragility.

In 1992, the JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION reported that increased hip fractures were linked to rates of fluoride in the water.

Dr. Michael B. Schachter, M.D. from Columbia College of Physicians & Surgeons, contends, “fluoride even at dosages of one part per million, found in fluoridated water, can inhibit enzyme systems, damage the immune system, contribute to calcification of soft tissues, worsen arthritis and cause dental fluorosis in children; up to 80% of the children in certain fluoridated areas.”

If that isn’t scary enough, many recent studies show that water fluoridation is ineffective in reducing tooth decay. The U. S. Public Health Service, in the largest study of its kind, examined the dental records of over 39,000 school children, ages 5-17, from 84 different areas around the country. The number of decayed, missing and filled teeth per child were virtually the same in fluoridated and non-fluoridated areas.

Because of evidence of harmful effects, fluoridation has been abandoned in most of Europe, including Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Holland, Hungary, Italy, Norway, Sweden, Germany and Yugoslavia.

In the 1964 cold-war classic DR. STRANGELOVE, General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) was concerned about an epiphany he had experienced during a sexual encounter regarding protecting his "purity of essence" and thereby became a bit paranoid about the fluoridation of drinking water. “I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids,” he declared, then ordered a squadron of B-52s on a nuclear strike of the Soviet Union.

Perhaps he sent the B-52s to the wrong target.

As a container of precious bodily fluids, I tend to be cautious about what I eat, drink and breathe. I prefer my drinking water to be void of toxic waste.

Quote for the Day – "All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach." Adolf Hitler

Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and protects his purity of essence by bathing during full moons. His blogs appear on several websites, including