Sunday, November 30, 2014

Movie Roles -- Quiz

Select the actor/actress who uttered the following line and the name of the movie

1) "Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia."
A) Montgomery Cliff
B) Bob Hope
C) Paul Newman
D) Ann Baxter
E) Sylvester Stallone

2) "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
A) Ginger Rogers
B) Tom Hanks
C) John Wayne
D) Sophia Loren
E) Art Carney

3) "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
A) Robert Blake
B) Bing Russell
C) Clark Gable
D) Elizabeth Taylor
E) Jack Carter

4) "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
A) Kevin Costner
B) Daniel Baldwin
C) Victor Mature
D) Joan Crawford
E) Myrna Loy

5) "I am serious… and don't call me Shirley."
A) James Arness
B) Harpo Marx
C) James Stewart
D) Burt Reynolds
E) Peter Graves

6) "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." 
A) Billy Dee Williams
B) Helen Hunt
C) Carole Lombard
D) Judy Garland
E) Roseland Russell

7) "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
A) Martin Sheen
B) Karl Malden
C) Audie Murphy
D) Steve McQueen
E) Robert Duvall

8) "This ain't Dodge City. And you ain't Bill Hickok."
A) Burt Lancaster
B) Tom Selleck
C) Jane Fonda
D) Gregory Peck
E) Randolph Scott

9) "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!"
A) Nicholas Cage
B) Mae West
C) Danny Glover
D) Bette Davis
E) Ann Baxter

10) “Hail, hail Freedonia.”
A) Elsa Maxwell
B) John Lennon
C) Sophie Tucker
D) Groucho Marx
E) Connie Stevens

11) "Are you gonna do something? Or just stand there and bleed?"
A) Kurt Russell
B) Sam Wallace
C) Val Kilmer
D) Frank Sinatra
E) Billy Bob Thornton

12) "Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand."
A) George Kennedy
B) Strother Martin
C) Wayne Rogers
D) Dennis Hopper
E) Paul Newman

13) "I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."
A) Sylvester Stallone
B) Marlon Brando
C) Warren Beatty
D) Mickey Rourke
E) Jackie Coogan

14) "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."
A) Peter Finch
B) John Cassavetes
C) Eric Idle
D) William Holden
E) Faye Dunaway

15) "Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
A) Charlie Sheen
B) Dean Martin
C) Peter Sellers
D) Woody Allen
E) Michael Palin

16) "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
A) John Belushi
B) John Vernon
C) John Cleese
D) John Cusack
E) John C. Riley

17) "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."
A) Anthony Hopkins
B) Anthony Perkins
C) Anthony Quinn
D) Anthony Hall
E) Anthony Quayle

18) "If you won't sleep with me this time I want you to know that you can call me up anytime you want and we'll make some kind of arrangement."
A) Robert Webber
B) Shirley MacLaine
C) Ida Lupino
D) Anne Bancroft
E) Cary Grant

19) "Birds cannot tell time, Kemo Sabe."
A) Johnny Depp
B) Charles Bronson
C) Howard Keel
D) Manu Tupou
E) Cheech Marin

20) "She's my daughter!...She's my sister! She's my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She's my sister and my daughter."
A) Joan Fontaine
B) Angelina Jolie
C) Faye Dunaway
D) Ellen Burstyn
E) Minnie Driver

21) "Here's looking at you, kid."
A) Donald Sutherland
B) Humphrey Bogart
C) George Peppard
D) James Mason
E) Eli Wallach

22) "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."
A) Marilyn Monroe
B) Meryl Streep
C) Basil Rathbone
D) Bela Legosi
E) Gloria Swwanson

23) "Rosebud."
A) Spencer Tracy
B) Orson Welles
C) Robert Preston
D) Doris Day
E) Raymond Massey

24) "I'm walking here!! I'm walking here!!"
A) Dustin Hoffman
B) Lee Marvin
C) Lee J. Cobb
D) Karl Malden
E) John Voight

25)"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."
A) Julia Roberts
B) Mira Sorvino
C) Lauren Bacall
D) Fran Drescher
E) Ann-Margret



1) C -- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
2) B -- Forrest Gump
3) C -- Gone With the Wind
4) A -- The Usual Suspects
5) E -- Airplane
6) D -- The Wizard of Oz
7) E -- Apocalypse Now
8) B -- Quigley Down Under
9) D -- All About Eve
10) D -- Duck Soup
11) A -- Tombstone
12) E -- Cool Hand Luke
13) B -- On the Waterfront
14) A -- Network
15) D -- Annie Hall
16) B -- Animal House
17) A -- Silence of the Lambs
18) D -- The Graduate
19) A -- The Lone Ranger
20) C -- Chinatown
21) B -- Casablanca
22) E -- Sunset Boulevard
23) B -- Citizen Kane
24) A -- Midnight Cowboy
25) C -- To Have and Have Not

Quote for the Day -- "Always make the audience suffer as much as possible." Alfred Hitchcock

Bret Burquest is the author of 10 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and was cast in the role of "ticket taker" in a school play in 5th grade many moons ago.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Mother of All Junk Science

In 2001-2007, I wrote a weekly column for a couple of newspapers in northern Arkansas and southern Missouri. In December of 2005, I wrote a column titled "Black Gold" pointing out that global warming may or may not exist, and if it does exist it may or not be caused by human beings (greenhouse gas emissions), depending on which scientific study you believed. I remained neutral in the presentation and didn't endorse one side or the other.

Soon thereafter, I received a series of e-mails from a fellow on the West Coast who tried to convince me that global warming was primarily caused by humans whereupon I responded with many studies that disputed this contention.

His response was always that his experts had impeccable credentials and my experts were quacks.

After much correspondence, which included other subjects as well, he went into a profanity-laced rant and abruptly ended our e-mail debate by writing that I should "eat dirt and die."

This piece is dedicated to him.

Steven Milloy has a B.A. in Natural Science and an M.S. in Biostatistics from Johns Hopkins University, and a Juris Doctorate from George Washington University. He was on the judging panel for the American Association for the Advancement of Science Awards and has testified before the U.S. Congress on environmental issues.

In other words, he's a man of superior credentials, although I'm certain the West Coast critic would disagree. 

Milloy is also the publisher of, an online website where he refers to the global warming controversy as the "mother of all junk science." He contends that climate varies naturally and the ongoing climate change is within the natural variation.

In his online piece on the subject in 2005, he made several compelling arguments.

The Kyoto Protocol is an agreement among nations to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 8 percent, from the 1990 levels, by 2012. The USA and most of the European Union signatories have been ignoring it.

Using data provided by those who promote the Kyoto Protocol, if every country complied with the agreement, the average global temperature would be reduced by 0.0015 degrees Centigrade. At this rate, it would take 667 years (at a cost of $100 trillion) to hypothetically forestall global warming by one degree Centigrade.

A Russian study showed that the concentration of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere is approximately 370 PPM (parts per million) and compliance with Kyoto would result in a difference of only one or two PPM by 2012.

Former Vice President Al Gore is an ardent global warming prevention advocate. At a political event on January 4, 2006, he was asked if he thought the Kyoto Protocol would work. His response was, "Hell no!" He went on to explain that the main point of Kyoto was to generate international support for environmental concerns.

Gore had produced a documentary filled with inconsistencies to promote his alarmist view of global warming.

In it he shows some glaciers that are receding but fails to even mention that other glaciers are actually growing as well. Also, certain glaciers in Alaska have been receding ever since famous outdoor photographer John Muir photographed them back in the 1800s, long before the onset of manmade greenhouse emissions.

The documentary also implies that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide have historically preceded increases in global temperatures.

However, a 2005 study in the journal Science reports that the opposite may have been true in the past -- that higher temperatures may actually precede increased carbon dioxide levels.

Scientists also point to volcanoes under the oceans, increases in solar activity and other factors to explain global warming.

Science is like beauty; the truth is always in the eye of the beholder.

Quote for the Day -- “All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes dew.” Stephen Colbert

Bret Burquest is the author of 10 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and to alleviate global warming he has vowed to stop farting.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Richest Fictional Characters

Forbes Magazine published a list of the 15 richest fictional characters -- if this is important to you, you need to get a new life.

1) Santa Claus – This fat, jolly toy maker lives at the North Pole with a wife, a bunch of elves and some flying reindeer. He is believed to be 1,651 years old with an unlimited surplus of wealth. He spends an entire year making toys; then distributes them in a single evening, via unlawful entry, to children throughout the planet. He also conducts covert surveillance on every boy and girl on the planet to determine who has been naughty or nice.

2) Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks – Age 52, net worth = $27.3 billion. He's a defense contractor from New York City who is rarely seen in public. Although he's divorced, he adopted an orphan named Annie and her Airedale terrier named Sandy. He has two bodyguards, Punjab and Asp, who have mystical powers and great strength.

3) Richie Rich – Age 10, net worth = $17 billion. This poor little rich kid inherited his father's fortune. He attends Richville Elementary School in Richville (U.S.A.). While sharing his fortune with underprivileged kids, his more sinister escapades include genetic engineering of "dollarmation" dogs and excessive use of robotic maids.

4) Lex Luther – Age 36, net worth = $10.1 billion. He's the CEO of LexCorp (defense contracts, computer software and real estate). As a resident of Metropolis (U.S.A.), he's often peeved at a Daily Planet newspaper reporter named Clark Kent. Although generally mild-mannered, Kent occasionally cross-dresses into an outfit of blue tights with a red cape whereupon he fights for freedom, justice and the American way.

5) Charles Montgomery Burns – Age 104, net worth = $8.4 billion. As owner/operator of a nuclear plant in Springfield (U.S.A.), he has every disease known to man. The diseases counteract one another, allowing him to live a long life. He credits his longevity to Satan. One of his employees is a fellow named Homer Simpson.

6) Scrooge McDuck – Age 80, net worth = $8.2 billion. He lives in the world's largest repository of gold coins; a five-story tower in Duckburg (U.S.A.). He amassed his fortune in gold and copper, and spends his free time swimming in money. His heirs include his nephew Donald, and grand-nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie.

7) Jed Clampett – Age 51, net worth = $6.6 billion. As a hillbilly in Tennessee, he accidentally stumbled upon a huge oil deposit that made him rich. So he moved his mother (Granny), his cousin (Jethro) and his daughter (Elly May) to Beverly Hills where they scared the neighbors and got even richer through banking.

8) Bruce Wayne – Age 32, net worth = $6.5 billion. He's a wealthy playboy who inherited the family business. His stately mansion near Gotham City (U.S.A.) sits atop a complex of bat caves. He has a fetish for thwarting criminals by dressing up as a winged rodent (a bat) and putting an end to their dastardly deeds.

9) Thurston Howell III – Age 60, net worth = $5.7 billion. A Harvard man with a snooty attitude toward commonness, he founded Howell Industries (plastic and chemicals). He and his wife went on a three-hour boat tour and never returned. He is thought to be in seclusion on a private island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

10) Willy Wonka – Age 57, net worth = $2.3 billion. He lives in Kent, England, and owns a chocolate factory. Apparently, he was the son of a dentist and forbidden to eat chocolate as a child. Dentists can be very cruel.

Rounding out the top 15 richest fictional characters in the world are Arthur Bach (womanizing playboy, drunkard), Ebenezer Scrooge (rich miser, haunted by ghosts), Lara Croft (daughter of wealth, archeologist), Cruella De Vil (fashions fur coats from 99 Dalmatians) and Lucius Malfoy (wizard, enemy of Harry Potter).

Rich characters, fictional or otherwise, are just like the rest of us -- they're often a bit weird. The only difference is that regular weirdos are considered to be unbalanced while rich weirdoes are merely eccentric.

I always thought Donald Trump was one of the richest fictional characters in the world but I was wrong.

Quote for the Day -- "The average millionaire is only the average dishwasher dressed in a new suit.” George Orwell

Bret Burquest is the author of 10 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and where his riches are his memories.