New Words added to the Dictionary

The average person speaks 31,500 words per day. Since I only utter about 47 words per day, mostly to my dog, I once again find myself at the far, lonely end of the Bell Curve.

The main problem with the English language is that it was invented by the English, a race of island bound twits whose major contributions to the human race are cricket and Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

To insure the human race has plenty to say, the Oxford English Dictionary folks recently added 3,500 new words to their dictionary, last updated in 1993. Politics and current affairs are monitored closely for new words, as are contemporary subject areas such as technology, food, films and television.

Some of the new words originating in Great Britain due to NEW LABOUR’S election victory (a few years ago) are OLD LABOUR, NEW LABOUR, CLAUSE FOUR, BLAIRISM and BLAIRITE.

British initiatives such as LITERACY HOUR, STAKEHOLDER PENSIONS and BACK TO BASICS were also added, along with topical words and phrases like ASYLUM SEEKER, ASYMMETRICAL, WARFARE, BED-BLOCKING, BENEFIT TOURIST, ECONOMIC MIGRANT, IDENTITY POLITICS, JUST WAR, NAME AND SHAME, SPIN CONTROL and SPINMEISTER.

Slang terms from Great Britain include ANORAKY, BLING-BLING, EARLY DOORS, GOALHANGER, GO COMMANDO, GET REAL, SHEDLOAD and WEDGIE.

Slang terms from the USA are ASS-BACKWARDS, BADASS, BOGART, ECONOBOX, GOOF-PROOF, LOOSEY-GOOSEY, LOSINGEST and STICKER SHOCK.

Other USA inputs include THE FORCE, JEDI, KLINGONS, GRINCHES, GEARHEADS, CARJACKING, CONTROL FREAKS, DVDs, LINE DANCING, LAP DANCING, PASHMINAS, ROAD RAGE, SHOCK JOCKS, SPEED CAMERAS, SUPERMODELS, BUNNY-HUGGERS and BUNNY-BOILERS.

A BUNNY-HUGGER is defined as a conservationist or animal lover, while a bunny-boiler is a vindictive woman, as portrayed by Glenn Close in the movie “Fatal Attraction.”

A close examination of the new dictionary reveals that they missed a few new words, including:

WEED-EATER – A vegetarian on a tight budget who lives near a deep ditch.

INOCULATTE – to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

INTAXICATION – Excitement at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money in the first place.

BLAMESTORMING – A group discussion attempting to find an excuse for missing a deadline and finding someone to blame.

KARMAGEDDON – When the human race reaps what it sows.

HIPATITIS – An inflammation of coolness.

GIRAFFITI – Vandalism spray-painted in very high places.

GLIBIDO – All talk and no action.

TEXAS BOASTER – All hat and no cattle.

OHNOSECOND – The miniscule fraction of time when you realize you just made a colossal, non-reversal mistake.

DOPELER EFFECT – The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly and quickly disappear into the background.

YONG – A state of confusion when your yin and yang are out of balance.

REINTARNATION – Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

FOREPLOY – A misrepresentation of oneself for the purpose of an intimate interlude.

SARCHASM – The gap between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

___________

Quote for the Day -- "Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way." Steve Martin

___________

Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and occasionally uses words to express himself.

___________

-

-

Becoming a Starving Writer

Becoming a starving writer isn’t easy. The odds of getting your first novel published are approximately 200 to one.

First of all, you need to know something about the structure of a novel. Almost without exception, a novel can be broken down into three distinct segments: the setup, the conflict and the resolution.

The setup starts with a hook, something exciting or mysterious or bizarre or profound or whatever to entice the reader to continue. Plus, the opening line must entice the reader to read the second line.

The setup goes on to introduce the main characters and the basic premise of the story. The setup ends with the first of two plot-points that changes the direction of the story, thrusting it into the next segment, called the conflict.

The conflict is usually the biggest of the three segments, the meat of the story.

Somewhere along the line, a second plot-point changes the direction once again, this time into the resolution, which wraps everything up and often ends with a climax.

Once you have developed the structure of a novel, the next step is to write it.

It should contain wisdom and wit, and flow like a river of poetic nuance. But above all, it must have some elements of originality. No publisher wants a re-hash of what has already been written by others.

A novel should be a minimum of 55,000 words. Some of the gothic romance novels can run up to 125,000 words. My novels are all about 70,000 words.

Once you have written the first draft, don’t bother to celebrate too much. Your work has just begun. You must rewrite and rewrite and rewrite until you bleed.

You’ve got a 200 to one shot of getting published so it behooves you to make it as impeccable as possible without going insane. One of the hardest decisions is to know when to quit because it will never be as perfect as you desire, but you'll have to cut it off at some point.

When you’re finally done writing, you’re ready for phase two -- getting it published.

You have three options -- find a publisher, find a literary agent or self-publish it yourself.

Finding a publisher or agent will require great fortitude, patience and persistence.

Don’t bother sending a first novel to a publisher. Most mainstream publishers will only accept submissions from reputable literary agents.

Most literary agents will not accept unsolicited manuscripts. Agents prefer a query rather than a complete manuscript. Some literary agents will take unsolicited queries and others won’t. A query to an agent usually consists of a 1-page letter explaining your project, a 5-page plot synopsis and the first three chapters of your proposed book. Make sure everything is double-spaced with a quality appearance. Although literary agents frown on multiple submissions, ignore them. Send out lots of submissions at a time because agents take many weeks to get back to you. Almost all agents will respond, usually with a form rejection letter.

Don’t ever give up. I could literally paper my walls with rejection letters.

Once you have signed with an agent, don’t get too excited -- your odds of getting published have been reduced to about 12 to one. Even if you get lucky, it may take years. By the time my agent finally matched me with a publisher, I had written four novels, all of which were then published over a ten-month period in 2000-2001.

Bret Burquest is the author of the following 4 fiction novels (published by Random House imprint Xlibris) -- available at Amazon and many other on-line booksellers in paperback or e-book format.

THE ELEVENTH SAGE -- metaphysical mystery -- A journey of the mind of an amnesia victim into the reality of a famous past life in the Old West, while simultaneously creating the destiny of a precise future being pre-lived subconsciously

A BAD RUN OF FATE -- psychological mystery -- An enigmatic serial killer stalks modern-day prospectors seeking a lost treasure in central Arizona.

GOOMBA IN MONTANA -- suspense thriller -- A young man discovers that his widowed mother's new suitor is a dangerous federally protected witness and is forced into a life-or-death struggle for survival.

THE DOGMAN OF TOPANGA -- suspense thriller -- A newspaper woman seeks seclusion in a remote bohemian village near Los Angeles to write a story exposing a vast conspiracy whereupon her nearest neighbor is a mysterious man who lives in a cave with dogs and someone wants her dead.

Ten year later, I compiled 5 nonfiction books consisting of articles I had written (wrote a weekly newspaper column for 8 years, plus some published magazine articles) and countless blogs (see bret1111.blogspot.com). Rather than scramble to find another publisher, I self-published these 5 volumes in 2011-2013.

Bret Burquest is the author of the following 5 nonfiction books -- available at Amazon and many other on-line booksellers in paperback or e-book format.

THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY -- 44 articles on topics such as parallel dimensions, collective consciousness, intuition, UFOs, Edgar Cayce, St. Germain, Carl Jung, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, End of Days, the White Buffalo, Jesse James, Noah's Ark, JFK & MLK assassinations, Dead Sea Scrolls, Lao Tzu, Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderbergers, Hitler after WWII, reincarnation, Near Death Experience, Mayan calendar 2012, ancient wisdom, the Purpose in Life.

1111 HAPPY TRAILS ROAD -- 48 humor articles on topics such as dogs, cats, talking fish, dragonfly tattoos, Bronko Nagurski, lightning strikes, rednecks, chiggers, blondes, armadillos, hurricanes, fallen beings, amazing synchronicities, world's deadliest animals, relationships, Hollywood, Valentine's Day, Catch-22, confronting bullies, Toad Suck, Monkey Run, big bad women, banana slugs, flying queens, the secret of life.

ORB OF WOUNDED SOULS -- 48 articles on topics such as happiness, failure, anarchy, haunted places, Burning Man, Time Travel, Dogon Knowledge, philosophy, medal of honor, Indiana Jones, John Lennon, George Carlin, Paul Newman, Bob Hope, Kinky Friedman, chocolate, best places to live and die, leap seconds, the Secret, moose attacks, depression, manifest destiny, mystical numbers, memories of past lives.

PATH TO FOURTH DENSITY -- 44 articles on topics such as Geronimo, Skull and Bones, World War III, Mothman, Battle of New Orleans, Vice Presidents, superstitions, Leonard Peltier, Majestic-12, planets in retrograde, Bureau of Indian Affairs, New Madrid Earthquake, daylight savings, UFO truths, Alternative 3, Islamic radicalism, spiritual beings, abiotic oil, reptilian shape-shifters, TWA Flight 800, United Flight 93, hashing, next ice age, ascension to 4th density.

11:11 EARTH TIME -- 44 articles on topics such as communicating with spirits, coup d'etat of the USA, Nostradamus, Princess Diana, ancient giants, moon structures, Hunter S. Thompson, Carlos Castaneda, Marlon Brando, Milton Friedman, Jane Fonda, West Memphis Three, Obama strategy, G.I. Jurdjieff, Emanual Swedenborg, Pythagoras, North Korea, Military Industrial Complex, Vince Foster, reptilian shape-shifters

After all that work, I can now call myself a writer, albeit a starving writer. Statistically, only one in 25 published writers actually makes a living at it. So far, I’m not the lucky one in 25, but at least I can go to my grave knowing I gave it my best shot.

___________

Quote for the Day --"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." Mark Twain

___________

Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where being a starving writer is a pleasant passage through life.

___________

-

-

Assassinating John Wayne

Marion Robert Morrison was born in Winterset, Iowa, on May 16, 1907. At age four, his family moved to Los Angeles. He was a gifted athlete who lost his football scholarship at USC due to a body surfing accident. Soon, he found work in small bit parts at local film studios, where he eventually changed his name to John Wayne.

John Wayne appeared in 142 motion pictures, often in Westerns as a heroic character, and won an Academy Award for his role as a U.S. Marshall in the movie TRUE GRIT.

Throughout his life, John Wayne was a staunch political conservative, opposing communism and politically liberal viewpoints of view.

He passed on to the Great Beyond in 1979 due to stomach cancer.

According to a book titled JOHN WAYNE -- THE MAN BEHIND THE MYTH by Michael Munn, there were three assassination attempts on Wayne's life.

In 1949, Joseph Stalin (communist dictator of the USSR) learned about John Wayne's anti-communist fervor from Russian filmmaker Sergei Gerasimov during a peace conference in New York. Stalin soon decided Wayne should be killed.

The plot to assassinate John Wayne was also reported by Russian filmmaker Alexei Kapler (who had been imprisoned by Stalin) and Russian filmmaker Sergei Bondahuck, later confirmed by Gerasimov.

According to Munn's book, John Wayne's good friend, legendary stuntman Yakima Canutt, had "saved his life" in the early 1950s. The FBI had discovered that Russian agents were being sent to Hollywood to assassinate Wayne and notified him of the problem. Supposedly, Wayne told the FBI to let the agents show up and he would deal with it. Wayne then devised a plan, with help from a screenwriter named Jimmy Grant, to dissuade the assassins from carrying out their plans.

While the details of the incident were never revealed to Munn, the prevailing rumor was that a group of stuntmen abducted the agents and drove them to a beach where they staged a mock execution. Thereafter, the agents supposedly remained in the USA and worked for the FBI.

Subsequently, Wayne rejected any FBI protection and relocated with his family to a more secure house surrounded by a large wall. Thereafter, a group of Hollywood stuntmen pals infiltrated communist cells in America and learned of additional plots to kill Wayne

In 1953, another attempt on Wayne's life was initiated in Mexico by a communist cell when Wayne was filming the movie, HONDO. This plot also failed.

Joseph Stalin died in 1953 whereby Nikita Krushchev became the new communist leader of the USSR.

In a private meeting in 1958, Krushchev told Wayne that he had cancelled Stalin's orders to assassinate him. "That was a decision of Stalin during his last five mad years. When Stalin died, I rescinded that order."

The third attempt on Wayne's life occurred in 1966 when he was visiting U.S. troops in Vietnam. An enemy sniper who had been captured claimed, "There was a price on John Wayne's head, put there by Mao Tse Tung (communist leader of China).

To some John Wayne was a grand hero, emblematic of American values. To others, he was a symbol of what was wrong with America, as a self-righteous bully who conquered others through force.

From FEAR AND LOATHING IN AMERICA by Hunter S. Thompson -- "John Wayne is a final, rotten symbol of everything that went wrong with the American dream -- he is our Frankenstein monster, a hero to millions… The brainwaves of 'The Duke' are like those of the Hammerhead Shark… He is a ruthless stupid beast with only one instinct -- to attack, to hurt & cripple & kill… John Wayne, a cowboy movie actor whose only real talent was an almost preternatural genius for brainless violence. The Duke wasn't satisfied with just killing people; he beat them into bloody, screaming hamburger."

Love him or hate him, John Wayne was bigger than life. He was a proud American who understood that communism was a form of human slavery, serving the bureaucratic masters who rule the Government Plantation.

More government control means less individual freedom. Power does not corrupt people -- position of power attract corrupt people. Those who yearn to control others, even if they regard it as benevolence, are simply demanding the right to create their own version of heaven on earth. The struggle for freedom never ends.

Whether or not John Wayne was a hero is highly debatable.

Perhaps the true heroes are those who go gently through life treating others with tolerance, compassion and forgiveness.

___________

Quote for the Day -- "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." John Wayne

___________

Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where freedom is never free.

___________

-

-

Locating Lost Treasures

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a treasure hunter. I imagined it would be a grand adventure with the remote possibility of actually striking it rich someday.

In my 20s and 30s, I spent my working hours sitting at a desk writing computer programs. At age 42, I turned my back on the rat race of big city life and spent about six years prospecting for gold in Central Arizona.

One day, I stumbled upon an old man who lived in a school bus on a dirt road at the southern base of the Bradshaw Mountains, between Congress and Stanton, about 60 miles north of Phoenix. He was barefoot and shirtless, and had such hard skin it looked like he was weatherproof. He had more tattoos than teeth and his eyes twinkled when he spoke, either madness or glee -- I could never quite tell.

We were both wary loners and became friends over time. He spent his summers in Oregon, along the Rogue River, and his winters in Arizona, buying gold from prospectors at 80% of spot.  Paid cash.  No questions asked.

He claimed he had encountered an ancient Indian woman many years earlier who confided in him that her tribe had picked up most of the loose gold nuggets from the top of Rich Hill (near Congress, AZ) and hid them in a nearby gully to discourage white settlers. He appeared to believe the story and swore he never told another soul about it.

Lucky me.

Prospectors are like fishermen; the big ones always get away. I had heard many tales of lost treasures from dusty old coots but this one had an air of possibility to it.

I never spent any time searching for this lost cache of gold nuggets. However, during my research, I did learn that Rich Hill initially had gold nuggets the size of eggs scattered about the top and that the local Indians had a reputation for hiding gold to discourage white settlers. Perhaps there’s some validity to the story after all.

Incorporated within one of my novels, A BAD RUN OF FATE, is everything I know about this lost cache of gold.  It’s not listed in any treasure atlas that I've seen. I did at one time own two mining claims, the Redledge and the Three Chinamen, which were near the waterfall mentioned in the novel. The map coordinates and other recorded claim information within the story line are taken directly from the original claims.

To my knowledge, all other facts and locations within the narrative pertaining to the potential location of the treasure are accurate. Naturally, all characters (other than historical) are fictitious.

In the story I chose a specific waterfall, which exists only during heavy rainstorms, as the precise location of the treasure because it seems like a logical place. It sure would be strange if it’s actually there – I never did check it out.

Since I no longer hunt for riches, I expect a 10 percent share of any find resulting from my material.

I now live in Fulton County in northern Arkansas, where there also seems to be a couple of lost treasures in the immediate vicinity waiting to be discovered. According to the U.S. Treasure Atlas, Volume 1, the following is true.

SHARP COUNTY (Page 79) – In 1907, 6 or 7 bandits robbed the Frisco freight train at Mammoth Spring, loading a wagon with several crates. Two trainmen died in the incident. According to witnesses, the bandits headed toward Tick Ridge (or the head of Cold Spring Creek). The loot was placed in a cave and the entrance was dynamited shut until they could return and split it. All the bandits were captured and served long sentences in prison, never to recover the cache. In 1936, a former prison guard began searching for the cache, spending 10 years in a futile effort. He revealed that the train robbers were a gang of burglars that worked Gary and Bloomington, Indiana, Chicago, Illinois, and St. Louis and Springfield, Missouri. The gang had hidden all of their accumulated loot, including jewelry, gold & silver coins and gemstones, in the cave.

IZARD COUNTY (Page 85) – A cache of gold and silver bars worth $110 million (worth much more today) and known as the Madre Vena Treasure is located in the Pineville area of Izard County.

In my experience, the real treasure is in the hunt itself -- any finds are merely frosting on the cake.

Happy hunting.

___________

Quote for the Day -- "It's not the years, it's the mileage." Indiana Jones

___________

Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books, including A BAD RUN OF FATE. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where lost treasures wait to be discovered.

___________

-

-