Y2K Bug Extraction

I spent about eight months working on a computer contract in Memphis in 1999, leading up to the potential disaster known in the computer industry as Y2K.

There were lots of rumors about what might happen if the problem couldn’t be resolved. Some of the myths included:

• All microwave ovens and toasters will explode on 1/1/00

• We will be required to dress in 1900 fashion

• It’s all part of a vast right-wing conspiracy

• World War III will be triggered by an essay on Global Warning written by a third grader from New Jersey

• A new number system, excluding the number six, will be imposed by Congress to prevent the arrival of the Beast

• Computers will refer to human beings as U2X Bugs

• Microsoft will win the next four Super Bowls

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During this short-term contract, the manager occasionally headed for my tiny office to check on my progress. As an outside contractor, I was stationed in the last office in a row of tiny offices, near the restrooms. As he was passing down the row of offices, he noticed the guy occupying the office next to mine was asleep at his desk. It was a rather embarrassing moment for both of them.

Things to say if caught sleeping at your desk:

• Actually, this is part of the Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) that I learned in the last mandatory time management seminar you had me attend

• Darn -- I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem

• They told me at the blood bank this might happen

• I was trying to pick up my contact lens without smudging it with my fingers

• Guess I left the top off the liquid paper

• Amen

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Life is what happens when you can't sleep.

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Quote for the Day -- “I had a dream I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.” Stan Laurel

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Bret Burquest is the author of 10 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and where bugs come in many varieties.

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