The following
items are from a book titled DISORDER IN THE COURT: GREAT FRACTURED MOMENTS IN
COURTROOM HISTORY by Charles M. Seville -- they are portions from actual transcripts
in American courts.
__________
Q: The
youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
__________
Q: Were you
present when your picture was taken?
Q: Are you
qualified to give a urine sample?
__________
Q: Do you now
wear corrective glasses?
A: There are
three of you.
Q: No.
There's only one of me.
___________
Q: Are you
sexually active?
A: No, I just
lie there.
___________
Q: What is
your date of birth?
A: July 18th.
Q: What year?
A: Every
year.
___________
Q: What gear
were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci
sweats and Reeboks.
___________
Q: This
myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in
what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You
forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
___________
Q: How old is
your son, the one living with you?
A:
Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long
has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five
years.
___________
Q: What was
the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said,
"Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why
did that upset you?
A: My name is
Susan.
___________
Q: Do you
know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both
do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes,
voodoo.
___________
Q: And y'all
had a very intimate relationship, didn't you, Ms. A.?
A: We had sex
two times. It wasn't very intimate.
___________
Q: So the
date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what
were you doing at that time?
___________
Q: She had
three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many
were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there
any girls?
___________
Q: How was
your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by
whose death was it terminated?
___________
Q: Can you
describe the individual?
A: He was
about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a
male, or a female?
___________
Q: Is your
appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this
is how I dress when I go to work.
___________
Q: ALL your
responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
___________
Q: Are you
related to her in some way by marriage?
A: We are
brother and sister-in-law.
Q: Are you
married to O's sister?
A: I am married
to O's sister by the church, by the law, and because I am a fool.
___________
Q: Doctor,
how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my
autopsies are performed on dead people.
___________
Q: Do you
recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The
autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.
Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was
sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
___________
Q: Now
doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it until the next morning?
A: Did you
actually pass the bar exam?
___________
Q: Doctor,
before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you
check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you
check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then
it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can
you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because
his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could
the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is
possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
___________
Quote for the Day -- "Lawyers spend a great deal of
time shoveling smoke." Oliver Wendell Holmes.
___________
Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books. He lives in the
Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where what lawyers do is called
"practice."
___________
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