Perfect Score on an Idiot-O-Meter

March 25, 2012 -- William Todd, age 24, was riding a Greyhound Bus from his home in Kentucky, where he is a wanted fugitive. During a layover in Nashville, Tennessee, he decided to spend some time in the Music City amusing himself.

3:05 AM -- Todd breaks into a business -- he steals a shotgun, a revolver, a Taser and a T-shirt -- he shoots up the place and sets it on fire, burning it to the ground.

3:30 AM -- Todd encounters four people leaving a local bar -- he holds them up at gunpoint -- he Tases one of them, pistol whips another one, steals all their cash and credit cards.

3:40 AM -- Todd carjacks a taxicab at gunpoint -- he heads to Wal Mart where he uses the stolen credit cards to purchase some items.

5:00 AM -- Todd heads downtown -- he spots a law office on Union Street and breaks in -- he ransacks the place, defecates on a desk and smears feces on law degrees hanging on the wall.

6:00 AM -- Todd enters the nearby Hotel Indigo -- he goes door to door, pretending to be a female housekeeper, robbing hotel guests -- he holds a Canadian couple at gunpoint, stealing $600 -- at some point while in the hotel, he shaves his head.

9:00 AM -- Todd crashes his stolen taxicab in a parking garage.

11:00 AM -- Todd hails another taxicab, holding the driver at knifepoint -- he orders the driver to take him to Opry Mills Shopping Mall

11:30 AM -- Todd exits the taxi cab -- police soon arrive -- Todd is found hiding in a water cooling unit, up to his neck in liquid.

Congratulations to you, William Todd -- 11 felonies in 9 hours -- you have achieved a perfect score on an Idiot-O-Meter.

"I've had all that I wanted of a lot of things I've had...
And a lot more than I needed of some things that turned out bad...
I got sidetracked in El Paso, stopped to get a map...
Went the wrong way in Juarez with Juanita on my lap...
Went to sleep in Shreveport, woke up in Abilene..
Wondering why I'm wanted at some town half way in between...
Wanted Man in Albuquerque, Wanted Man in Syracuse...
Wanted Man in Tallahassee, Wanted Man in Baton Rouge...
There's somebody set to grab me anywhere I might be...
And wherever you might look tonight you might get a glimpse of me...
Wanted Man in California, Wanted Man in Buffalo...
Wanted Man in Kansas City, Wanted Man in Ohio...
Wanted Man in Mississippi, Wanted Man in old Cheyenne...
Wherever you might look tonight you might see this Wanted Man."
(Wanted Man -- lyrics by Bob Dylan)

Looking back on all the stupid things I did in my life, I now feel cleansed.
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Quote for the Day -- "Sometimes I am two people -- Johnny is the nice one -- Cash causes all the trouble -- they fight." Johnny Cash
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Bret Burquest is the author of 8 books, including THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY, ORB OF WOUNDED SOULS and PATH TO FOURTH DENSITY (available on Amazon). He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee, and the ghosts of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow.
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