1) “The world is more like it is now than it ever was before.”
A) George Carlin
B) George Bush
C) Arnold Schwarzenegger
D) Dwight D. Eisenhower
E) J.D. Salinger
2) "A boy's best friend is his mother."
A) John Lennon
B) Bugs Bunny
C) Luke Skywalker
D) Norman Bates
E) Jack Nicholson
3) "Solutions are not the answer."
A) Richard Nixon
B) Groucho Marx
C) Vladimir Putin
D) Hillary Clinton
E) Captain Kirk
4) "I'll be back."
A) Sitting Bull
B) Gypsy Rose Lee
C) Frank Sinatra
D) Jane Fonda
E) The Terminator
5) "To improve is to change -- to be perfect is to change often."
A) Greta Garbo
B) Muddy Waters
C) Willie Mosconi
D) Tiger Woods
E) Winston Churchill
6) "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much."
A) D.B. Cooper
B) John Wayne
C) Herman Melville
D) Johnny Carson
E) Elmer Fudd
7) "Always take hold of things by the smooth handle."
A) Thomas Jefferson
B) Hank Aaron
C) Erma Bombeck
D) Jasper Lamar Crabbe
E) Daniel Boone
8) "Sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs."
A) Daffy Duck
B) Joe Namath
C) Bill Clinton
D) Buddy Hackett
E) Lady Gaga
9) "As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big."
A) Donald Trump
B) Brittney Spears
C) P.T. Barnum
D) W.C. Fields
E) Madonna
10) "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."
A) Cool Hand Luke
B) Lois Lane
C) Blanche DuBois
D) Batman
E) Boris Karloff
11) "You can't process me with a normal brain."
A) Barack Obama
B) Dan Quayle
C) Bob Dylan
D) Fox Mulder
E) Charlie Sheen
12) "A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me."
A) Mick Jagger
B) Abraham Lincoln
C) Jerry Lewis
D) Jerry Lee Lewis
E) Davy Crockett
13) "Death is not the worst that can happen to men."
A) Jerry Seinfeld
B) Vlad the Impaler
C) Wonder Woman
D) Geronimo
E) Plato
14) "You can't trust anybody with power."
A) The Lone Ranger
B) Newt Gingrich
C) Mahatma Gandhi
D) John the Baptist
E) John Quincy Adams
15) "I'd just like to be treated like a regular customer."
A) Elvis Presley
B) Hulk Hogan
C) Johnny Depp
D) Eleanor Rigby
E) Pee Wee Herman
16) "I have high expectations for the future because the past was highly overrated."
A) Carl Sagan
B) Bart Simpson
C) Barbara Walters
D) Jay Leno
E) Sylvester Stallone
17) "Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great."
A) Oprah Winfrey
B) Sid Caesar
C) Cher
D) Shirley MacLaine
E) Joe Biden
18) "It is better to be alone than in bad company."
A) Minnesota Fats
B) Kim Kardashian
C) Carl Jung
D) George Washington
E) Jeremiah Johnson
19) "The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground."
A) Buddha
B) Johnny B. Goode
C) Doris Day
D) Dr. Phil
E) Rhett Butler
20) "The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have."
A) Vince Lombardi
B) Hugh Hefner
C) Lindsey Lohan
D) Crazy Horse
E) Teddy Roosevelt
________________
ANSWERS: 1-D, 2-D, 3-A, 4-E, 5-E, 6-B, 7-A, 8-C, 9-A, 10-C, 11-E, 12-B, 13-E, 14-B, 15-A, 16-E, 17-C, 18-D, 19-A, 20-A
SCORES:
20 -- You are either a liar or a cheater or incredibly lucky
16-19 -- You need to get a life
10-15 -- Very good
5-10 -- Not bad
4 -- Random answers yield the same results
3-0 -- You are below random (a.k.a. a loser)
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Quote for the Day -- "He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked." Voltaire
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Bret Burquest is the author of 7 books, including THE REALITY OF THE ILLUSION OF REALITY and ORB OF WOUNDED SOULS (available on Amazon). He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where hypothetical questions get hypothetical answers.
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
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