Dogs and Cats

Dogs are extremely social animals whose psychological welfare is dependent on an association with other dogs in a pack while following the guidance of the pack leader. Domestic dogs rely on a human master as a surrogate pack leader. Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.

Cats don’t need a pack leader to show the way. They’re self-contained units of indifference that rely mostly on whim.

Dogs don’t dwell on the past and give little thought to the future beyond their next meal. They live almost exclusively in the present.

Cats don’t dwell on anything, including the present. They live almost exclusively in a different dimension.

Show dogs fall into six categories, depending on their talents and lineage -- sporting breeds, hound breeds, working breeds, terrier breeds, toy breeds and non-sporting breeds. A non-pedigree dog is called a mutt.

Show cats fall into two categories, depending on the length of their hair -- longhaired division and shorthaired division. A non-pedigree cat is called a cat.

Dogs perform functional tasks such as herding livestock, following scents, retrieving game and providing protection.

Cats perform dysfunctional tasks such as unraveling a ball of twine or chasing an imaginary object.

Dogs can hear frequencies up to 35,000 vibrations per second, as opposed to 20,000 in human beings.

Cats can hear frequencies up to the eleven dimensions of the Astral Plane, including the Twilight Zone. They can also hear Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa and the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Dogs have a superior sense of smell.

Cats have a sense of superiority.

Dogs are eager to learn new commands. They are pleased whenever they please their human masters.

Cats are eager to be treated like royalty. They are pleased whenever they feel like being pleased.

Dog people love their canines and consider them to be members of the family. In return, dogs love, honor and obey their human companions. It’s a lasting relationship.

Cat people love their felines and consider them to be members of the family. In return, cats couldn't care less. There is no relationship.

Dog people have a psychological desire to be needed.

Cat people have a psychological desire to be rejected.

I’m a dog person. My dog, Buddy Lee, is a rambunctious dude of unknown breed. I found him in a local animal shelter over a dozen years ago. Taking naps and eating are Buddy Lee's major activities. He dislikes being disturbed, particularly by anyone knocking on the front door. We have much in common.

My other dog is Donner. My nephew rescued him from a shelter and left him in my care when he moved to New Mexico a few years ago. Donner is an explorer of everything in all directions but always returns home after another adventure.

Two great little canine goodballs -- we are family. Acquiring a dog is the only opportunity a human being ever has to choose a relative.

If you want to be loved, get a dog.

If you want to be ignored, get a cat.

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Quote for the Day – "Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." Garrison Keillor

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and an imaginary girlfriend named Tequila Mockingbird.

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The Last Pope

There was a time when the whims of the Catholic Church ruled the world. It's known as the Dark Ages.

On April 2, 2005, Pope John Paul II passed away and was given the Rite of Extreme Unction.

As prescribed by traditional ritual of the Catholic Church in these circumstances, the chamberlain entered the room and asked the Pope, "Are you dead?"

The chamberlain then tapped the Pope's head with a silver hammer and repeated the question. Assuming there was no reply, the chamberlain called out the Pope's baptismal name. With no response from the deceased, the chamberlain officially declared the Pope to be dead.

Pope John Paul II was replaced by a German cardinal named Josef Ratzinger who dubbed himself Pope Benedict XVI, not to be confused with Pope Benedict V who raped a young girl in 964 and absconded to Turkey with the papal treasury, or Pope Benedict IX who was so immoral he was forced to flee from Rome in 1032.

As Pope Benedict XVI took over in 2005, a very curious process has been taking place in the procession of Popes.

Nearly a thousand years ago, in 1139, an Irish saint called Malachy met with Pope Innocent II in Rome. Known for his gift of prophecy, Saint Malachy went into a trance and received a vision about the future of the papacy. He described 112 popes who were to follow, beginning with Celestine II who became Pope in 1143.

Saint Malachy gave his list of 112 popes to Pope Innocent II who promptly stored it away in a vault where it remained for more than 400 years until its rediscovery in 1597.

Although dismissed by some, Saint Malachy's prophesies have been remarkably accurate right up to the present. For example, Saint Malachy's descriptions of the previous several Popes include the following.

Pope #108 – Malachy described him as "Flos Florum" which means "flower of the flowers." Pope Paul VI (1963-78) was Giovanni Battista Montini whose coat of arms included three flowers of iris.

Pope #109 – was termed "De Mediatate Lunae" by Malachy which means "from the half moon." Pope John Paul I (1978) was Albino Luciani who was made Pope on August 26, 1978 when the moon was half full and died a month later during the next half moon.

Pope #110 – Malachy called him "De Labore Solis" meaning "out of a solar eclipse." Pope John Paul II (1978-2005) was Karol Josef Wojtyla who was born during a solar eclipse on May 8, 1920.

Pope #111 -- The Malachy prophesy referred to him as "Gloria Olivae" which means "glory of the olive." This may be a reference to an olive branch which is the Biblical symbol of peace. Pope Benedict XVI tried to become a peacemaker between religions or nations in the troubled times of 2005. He retired in seclusion is 2013.

Pope #112 -- Pope Francis is the current Pope and last Pope on the list. He is the first Jesuit Pope. Born in Argentina, he is the first Pope from outside of Europe since the 8th century and the first Pope from the Southern Hemisphere.

According to the writings of Saint Malachy, the last Pope (#112) "will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."

The end, indeed.

Jesuit priest Malachi Martin, a close confidante to Popes for some 30 years and author of 16 books about Catholicism, was a Dead Seas Scroll scholar and chief exorcist for the Vatican, having been the role model for the priest in the movie THE EXORCIST.

Father Martin was one of the few people who had knowledge of the Third Secret of Fatima, a prophesy given to some children in 1917 by the Virgin Mary concerning the future after World War II. Just prior to his death in 1999, Father Martin claimed that this prophesy predicted terrible wars and diseases that will wipe out whole nations, three days of darkness, violent tornadoes and storms, and parts of the earth being washed into the sea. He believed this would happen not long after Pope John Paul II (#110) passed away, which occurred in 2005.

In 1139, St. Malachy described the next 112 popes in startling accurate detail, to be followed thereafter by the End of Days.

Pope #112 is presently at the helm -- end of the line.

A rather interesting set of circumstances.

As I write this in September of 2018, the Catholic Church is in internal turmoil and the world is in global turmoil. Perhaps it's time to build another ark, or move to Neptune.

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Quote for the Day – "I don't need a psychiatrist, I'm Catholic." Dorothy Kilgallen

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and where there is no shortage of churches.

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How to Live a Long Life

The top ten ways to live longer, according to Forbes.com, are as follows: 

1) Don't oversleep – A study in the ARCHIVES OF GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY reported that people who sleep between 6 and 7 hours per night live the longest.

BB -- Personally, I sleep about 10 hours per night. That way, I only need to take two naps during the day, plus I spend so much time in bed that I'm not as likely to be run over by a truck.

2) Be optimistic – Researchers at the Mayo Clinic determined that optimists have a 50 percent lower risk of early death compared to pessimists.

BB -- I'm a pessimist and proud of it. Optimists have high expectations which are not always met, causing endless disappointment. However, pessimists are never disappointed because they never expect anything to work out. I'd much rather be pleasantly surprised on occasion than disappointed.

3) Have more sex – An April 2004 study in the JOURNAL OF THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION found that sex keeps us healthy, by reducing stress and making us happier.

BB -- Apparently, I'm doomed to live a very short life.

4) Get a pet – Studies show that people who own pets, especially dogs, are less stressed, thus live longer. It decreases loneliness, encourages nurturing and stimulates exercise.

BB -- I've always had a dog or two hanging out with me. If I didn't have a dog, I'd be stuck with my alter ego and an oak tree for companionship.

5) Get a VAP – Heart disease is the number one killer in the USA. A traditional cholesterol test only detects 50 percent of the people with heart disease. A VAP test has been shown to detect 90 percent of heart disease patients.

BB -- Since I'm in the V.A. medical system, I'll just have to live with 1952 technology and take my chances.

6) Be rich – According to the National Center for Health Statistics, those with the highest poverty rates have the worst health status. Higher incomes permit access to increased medical care.

BB -- However, I prefer to remain poor because I don't like to pay too many taxes and no one ever tries to borrow money from me.

7) Stop smoking – Just about everyone on this planet knows by now that smoking is bad for your health and frequently leads to premature death.

BB -- I started in junior high and quit ten years later. I did it because all the cool dudes did it. And I quit because I realized that the coolest dudes of all were the ones who had minds of their own.

8) Chill out – A study at Johns Hopkins University revealed that men having the highest level of anger in response to stress were over three times more likely to develop premature heart disease than those with lower anger responses, and over six times more likely to have a heart attack by age 55.

BB -- I was often stressed and angry in my younger days, until I finally realized suffering was an important part of life and that I should embrace it.

9) Eat antioxidants – Free radicals are unstable chemical compounds that accelerate the aging of our cells and contribute to various degenerative diseases, including atherosclerosis, Alzheimer's and cancer. Antioxidants destroy free radicals. Research shows certain types of beans and berries are the best sources of antioxidants.

BB -- I eat berries once in a while but tend not to eat too many beans, particularly in public, for obvious reasons.

10) Marry well -- According to a study in MECHANISMS OF AGING AND DEVELOPMENT, genetics is an important factor because longevity genes can be inherited. Healthy aging is passed down from generation to generation.

BB -- My ex-wife married well, both before and after her marriage to me. I wasn't so lucky. In my own family history, all the men die young and all the women live forever. I think it has something to do with nagging.

May the Force be with you.

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Quote for the Day – "At my age, it's nice to be anywhere." George Burns

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a few dogs and where life is good.

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Zone of Silence

In 1970, a U.S. Athena missile was fired from a location in Utah, scheduled to land in the White Sands Missile Base in New Mexico. However, it went about 900 miles off course, without apparent explanation, and crashed in the Sonora Desert in Mexico, over a hundred miles south of the Big Bend area in Texas.

A few years later, a Saturn booster rocket used in the Apollo program broke up over the same area.

The U.S. military sent a team of engineers to investigate the area, which starts some 25 miles north of the tiny community of Ceballos, Durango.

One of the first things the engineers discovered was that it was impossible to transmit radio waves in the impacted area -- walkie-talkies and portable radios would not work, television signals could not be received in the scattered neighboring ranches, microwave or satellite signals failed to penetrate. Even airplanes flying over the region experienced instrument malfunctions.

Apparently, some sort of magnetic anomaly stifles radio waves in the region.

Thus, it became known as the Zone of Silence -- about 1,500 square miles of uninhabited flat terrain, loaded with thorny desert plants, infested with poisonous snakes and containing bizarre animal mutants.

For example, insects and tortoises are known to grow to three times normal size. Centipedes are a foot long with purple heads. The tortoises have no tail. And it is the only region where cactus grows in specific shades of purple and red.

In the 1800s, scattered farmers attempted to eke out an existence in this region whereupon they became aware of the "hot" stones that fell nightly from the sky.

Apparently, the Zone of Silence is like a bizarre magnet for meteorites. Within the Zone, there's a stunning "field of meteorites" area containing millions of meteorites scattered everywhere.

In the 1950s, a scientifically significant meteorite crashed in the vicinity. According to researchers, it contained material as old as the universe.

On February 8, 1969, the largest meteorite ever found on Earth (the size of a Buick) crashed into the Zone of Silence. It's known as the Allende Meteorite.

The 1970 U.S. military team of engineers discovered the area to be a hot bed for meteorites. The soil contains significant magnetic ore, possibly due to eons of meteorite bombardment from above. Plus, the mountains that surround the Zone of Silence also have various uranium deposits.

The Zone of Silence lies south of the 30th parallel, just north of the Tropic of Cancer -- the same latitude as the Bermuda Triangle and other bizarre planetary anomalies.

Ancient ruins have been located in the Zone of Silence but archeologists have been unable to determine the age and exact purpose of these structures, which were possibly utilized as an astronomical observatory. Furthermore, there have been discoveries of six-mile long man-made platforms, a man-made hill in the shape of a pyramid, and carved stone statues of animals.

Not surprisingly, the Zone of Silence is also a Mecca for UFO activity.

In 1976, a huge rectangular UFO passed over the town of Ceballos, witnessed by virtually everyone in town.

The same year, a photograph was taken (by a tourist) of a UFO that had landed on a hill within the Zone of Silence.

Travelers through the Zone of Silence have reported seeing strange lights maneuvering at night, floating motionless, changing colors, then taking off at great speed. Other witnesses who have spotted these mysterious lights at night have discovered vegetation the next day that appeared to have been burned by fire.

Encounters of mysterious beings have also been reported within the Zone of Silence. The most typical encounter has been with Nordic types -- a common UFO entity that is around 7 feet tall, with long blond hair and blue eyes. In UFO terminology, they are often referred to as Pleiadians.

Reportedly, two months before the U.S. Athena missile crashed into the Sonora Desert, Wernher von Braun (premier U.S. rocket scientist) made a visit to the Zone of Silence, creating speculation that the missile may have been purposely fired into the Zone of Silence to give U.S. personnel an excuse to enter the Zone for some undisclosed purposes (such as exploration or experimentation). The U.S. military even built a special railroad spur into the Zone to haul away the remains of the rocket, tons of magnetic dirt and perhaps other items.

Life is a mystery. You can accept it as is, leading to the bliss of ignorance -- or you can explore it, leading to the next mystery.

"Hello darkness my old friend...

I've come to talk with you again...

Because a vision softly creeping...

Left its seeds while I was sleeping...

And the vision that was planted in my brain...

Still remains...

Within the sound of silence."

(lyrics by Simon & Garfunkel)

If you want to explore a true mystery, spend your next vacation in the Zone of Silence. Leave your cell phone at home, keep an eye out for snakes and be very polite to seven-feet blond Nordics.

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Quote for the Day – "Silence is refreshment for the soul." Wynonna Judd

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a few dogs and where silence is a valuable commodity.

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