Getting Over the Hill

In the movie THE ELECTRIC HORSEMAN, Robert Redford is a former rodeo champion, now past his prime, selling his soul to a large corporation as a spokesman for their brand of breakfast cereal. During a moment of disillusionment with his life, aided by a hefty dose of Jack Daniels, he rides off with a prized horse owned by the corporation in order to save it from being turned into a commercial puppet like himself. Newspaper reporter Jane Fonda tracks down Redford and the stolen horse, joining them in their journey across remote areas of Utah. Redford plans to release the horse into the wild, freeing it from exploitation. Fonda tags along hoping to get a good news story out of it. One day, as they’re walking up a formidable hill, Fonda begs Redford to slow down and take a rest. Instead of slowing down, Redford marches on while telling Fonda a story from his old rodeo days about a cowboy who broke a rib and punctured his lung during a bull ride yet continued competing in his events. “And he still rode the rankest mare there,” Redford said, proudly. Fonda isn’t exactly impressed, wondering why men have to display so much machismo. “It gets you over the hill,” Redford exclaims as he continues trudging up the incline. Every once in a while we are faced with the option to gut it out or fall by the wayside. Sometimes it isn’t even an option. In November of 2002, 27-year-old Aron Ralston quit his engineering job to pursue his goal of becoming the first person to climb solo, in winter, all 55 of Colorado’s peaks that exceed 14,000 feet in elevation. Four months later, he survived an avalanche but remained undeterred. In April of 2003, having told no one of his plans, Ralston was hiking alone in Blue John Canyon in a remote area of Utah when his right arm became pinned by an 800-pound boulder. Falling by the wayside was not an option. Ralston was trapped for five days and out of water before he finally took the only action he could to save himself. He broke each of the two bones in his forearm, applied a tourniquet, then cut off his right arm at the point of the break with a pocketknife. Then he rigged an anchor, fixed a rope and rappelled 60 feet to the canyon floor. After hiking for about five miles, covered with blood, Ralston encountered two tourists and was transported to safety. It later took a crew of 13, using jacks and a hoist, to move the boulder and recover Ralston’s arm, which was subsequently delivered to the local mortuary. Because of the crude field surgery, doctors were forced to amputate the arm even closer the elbow. While this particular tragedy was gruesome, Ralston brought much of it on himself. A prudent wilderness hiker would notify someone of their destination and expected time of return. Plus, hiking with a companion is essential in emergencies. With today’s electronics, carrying a cell phone or walkie-talkie would also be wise. And of course, avoid positioning body parts under anything heavier than a Buick. If unwilling to take these basic precautions, find another hobby such as checkers or basket weaving. Even though I try to live a simple life, I too must gut it out on occasion. For example, I’ll often get out of bed even if I’m still tired. A person is the sum of their actions. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and rise to the occasion -- it gets you over the hill. ___________ Quote for the Day – "It is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill ___________ Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a few dogs and where hills beckon to be conquered. ___________ - -

Pizza Delivery Snafu

Napoleon Harris III, age 37, has served as an Illinois state senator since 2013. He is also the owner of two Beggars Pizza franchises. On September 6, 2016, his franchise in Harvey, Illinois, received an order over the phone at closing time, requesting a pizza delivery. Harris told the regular delivery guy to go home and that he would deliver the pizza to the 15800 block of Paulina Avenue himself. What Harris didn't know until he arrived was that it was a vacant house. What the four dudes who were planning to rob the pizza delivery guy at the vacant house didn't know was that it wasn't the regular delivery man. It was a 6-3 250 lb. former NFL linebacker who had played for the Oakland Raiders and the Minnesota Vikings. Thus, much excitement ensued. Upon arrival with the pizza, a man on the porch greeted Harris, as three other guys burst out from behind a row of hedges. Sean Howard, of the Harvey Police Department, reported the following on the local CBS TV news: "They were expecting a scrawny 5-foot-9 guy, and got Harris instead. They put a chokehold on the senator, but to no avail. They were really trying to choke him to death, and he was just too strong. He out-powered all four of them. As they were all beating on him, one guy just went out of his way and really hit him hard, and Napoleon never moved. He just looked at him like Hulk Hogan, and from that the guys knew that we better get out of here, because we can’t get this guy down.” Never mess with a former NFL linebacker, especially a former Oakland Raider or Minnesota Viking. The four would-be robbers had somehow managed to steal Harris' wallet, as well as the pizza, and flee in a Chevy Tahoe. "Dag nabbit -- let's skeedaddle." Gabby Hayes Harris pursued the Chevy Tahoe in his own car, because that's what linebackers do -- they vigorously pursue those they intend to force from an upright position onto the ground and render them motionless, bringing their forward progress to a swift halt. Harris followed them to a lumberyard and called the Harvey Police department. When the police arrived, they found the Chevy Tahoe but the robbers had vanished. However, the police did find some blood in the Chevy Tahoe, which was registered to a Georgia man named Lester Roy Jones. Analysis of the blood revealed it matched the blood of a man's body found in an abandoned house in Union City, Georgia, by the name of Lester Roy Jones, a homicide victim. Apparently, three men had kidnapped and killed Jones by luring him to the abandoned house through a dating app. Authorities soon tracked down the four robbers, based on the descriptions Harris gave them and on the evidence linked to the homicide in Georgia. Apparently, two of the men had taken a Megabus from Chicago to Georgia and were arrested on September 15. A security camera had captured a masked man trying to use the murder victim's ATM card. Malik Mayer was charged with murder and financial card fraud. The other person arrested was a juvenile, name withheld. A third suspect, Lawrence Hines had checked himself into a Georgia mental institution. Later the same month, law enforcers tracked him down and arrested him at the facility. The fourth suspect fits the description of a man in Gary, Indiana, near Chicago. Charges and apprehension are pending. I was in high school in a suburb of Minneapolis when the Minnesota Vikings came into existence as an expansion NFL team. They were dubbed the Purple People Eaters, based on their propensity to vigorously pursue those they intend to force from an upright position onto the ground and render motionless, bringing their forward progress to a swift halt, particularly at the linebacker position. These many years later, I still bleed purple. ___________ Quote for the Day – "If winning or losing is going to define your life, you're on a rough road." Bud Grant ___________ Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a few dogs and still bleeds purple on Sundays. ___________ - -