Dogs and Cats

Dogs are extremely social animals whose psychological welfare is dependent on an association with other dogs in a pack while following the guidance of the pack leader. Domestic dogs rely on a human master as a surrogate pack leader. Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.

Cats don’t need a pack leader to show the way. They’re self-contained units of indifference that rely mostly on whim.

Dogs don’t dwell on the past and give little thought to the future beyond their next meal. They live almost exclusively in the present.

Cats don’t dwell on anything, including the present. They live almost exclusively in a different dimension.

Show dogs fall into six categories, depending on their talents and lineage -- sporting breeds, hound breeds, working breeds, terrier breeds, toy breeds and non-sporting breeds. A non-pedigree dog is called a mutt.

Show cats fall into two categories, depending on the length of their hair -- longhaired division and shorthaired division. A non-pedigree cat is called a cat.

Dogs perform functional tasks such as herding livestock, following scents, retrieving game and providing protection.

Cats perform dysfunctional tasks such as unraveling a ball of twine or chasing an imaginary object.

Dogs can hear frequencies up to 35,000 vibrations per second, as opposed to 20,000 in human beings.

Cats can hear frequencies up to the eleven dimensions of the Astral Plane, including the Twilight Zone. They can also hear Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa and the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Dogs have a superior sense of smell.

Cats have a sense of superiority.

Dogs are eager to learn new commands. They are pleased whenever they please their human masters.

Cats are eager to be treated like royalty. They are pleased whenever they feel like being pleased.

Dog people love their canines and consider them to be members of the family. In return, dogs love, honor and obey their human companions. It’s a lasting relationship.

Cat people love their felines and consider them to be members of the family. In return, cats couldn't care less. There is no relationship.

Dog people have a psychological desire to be needed.

Cat people have a psychological desire to be rejected.

I’m a dog person. My dog, Buddy Lee, is a rambunctious dude of unknown breed. I found him in a local animal shelter over a dozen years ago. Taking naps and eating are Buddy Lee's major activities. He dislikes being disturbed, particularly by anyone knocking on the front door. We have much in common.

My other dog is Donner. My nephew rescued him from a shelter and left him in my care when he moved to New Mexico a few years ago. Donner is an explorer of everything in all directions but always returns home after another adventure.

Two great little canine goodballs -- we are family. Acquiring a dog is the only opportunity a human being ever has to choose a relative.

If you want to be loved, get a dog.

If you want to be ignored, get a cat.

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Quote for the Day – "Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." Garrison Keillor

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and an imaginary girlfriend named Tequila Mockingbird.

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The Last Pope

There was a time when the whims of the Catholic Church ruled the world. It's known as the Dark Ages.

On April 2, 2005, Pope John Paul II passed away and was given the Rite of Extreme Unction.

As prescribed by traditional ritual of the Catholic Church in these circumstances, the chamberlain entered the room and asked the Pope, "Are you dead?"

The chamberlain then tapped the Pope's head with a silver hammer and repeated the question. Assuming there was no reply, the chamberlain called out the Pope's baptismal name. With no response from the deceased, the chamberlain officially declared the Pope to be dead.

Pope John Paul II was replaced by a German cardinal named Josef Ratzinger who dubbed himself Pope Benedict XVI, not to be confused with Pope Benedict V who raped a young girl in 964 and absconded to Turkey with the papal treasury, or Pope Benedict IX who was so immoral he was forced to flee from Rome in 1032.

As Pope Benedict XVI took over in 2005, a very curious process has been taking place in the procession of Popes.

Nearly a thousand years ago, in 1139, an Irish saint called Malachy met with Pope Innocent II in Rome. Known for his gift of prophecy, Saint Malachy went into a trance and received a vision about the future of the papacy. He described 112 popes who were to follow, beginning with Celestine II who became Pope in 1143.

Saint Malachy gave his list of 112 popes to Pope Innocent II who promptly stored it away in a vault where it remained for more than 400 years until its rediscovery in 1597.

Although dismissed by some, Saint Malachy's prophesies have been remarkably accurate right up to the present. For example, Saint Malachy's descriptions of the previous several Popes include the following.

Pope #108 – Malachy described him as "Flos Florum" which means "flower of the flowers." Pope Paul VI (1963-78) was Giovanni Battista Montini whose coat of arms included three flowers of iris.

Pope #109 – was termed "De Mediatate Lunae" by Malachy which means "from the half moon." Pope John Paul I (1978) was Albino Luciani who was made Pope on August 26, 1978 when the moon was half full and died a month later during the next half moon.

Pope #110 – Malachy called him "De Labore Solis" meaning "out of a solar eclipse." Pope John Paul II (1978-2005) was Karol Josef Wojtyla who was born during a solar eclipse on May 8, 1920.

Pope #111 -- The Malachy prophesy referred to him as "Gloria Olivae" which means "glory of the olive." This may be a reference to an olive branch which is the Biblical symbol of peace. Pope Benedict XVI tried to become a peacemaker between religions or nations in the troubled times of 2005. He retired in seclusion is 2013.

Pope #112 -- Pope Francis is the current Pope and last Pope on the list. He is the first Jesuit Pope. Born in Argentina, he is the first Pope from outside of Europe since the 8th century and the first Pope from the Southern Hemisphere.

According to the writings of Saint Malachy, the last Pope (#112) "will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills (Rome) will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."

The end, indeed.

Jesuit priest Malachi Martin, a close confidante to Popes for some 30 years and author of 16 books about Catholicism, was a Dead Seas Scroll scholar and chief exorcist for the Vatican, having been the role model for the priest in the movie THE EXORCIST.

Father Martin was one of the few people who had knowledge of the Third Secret of Fatima, a prophesy given to some children in 1917 by the Virgin Mary concerning the future after World War II. Just prior to his death in 1999, Father Martin claimed that this prophesy predicted terrible wars and diseases that will wipe out whole nations, three days of darkness, violent tornadoes and storms, and parts of the earth being washed into the sea. He believed this would happen not long after Pope John Paul II (#110) passed away, which occurred in 2005.

In 1139, St. Malachy described the next 112 popes in startling accurate detail, to be followed thereafter by the End of Days.

Pope #112 is presently at the helm -- end of the line.

A rather interesting set of circumstances.

As I write this in September of 2018, the Catholic Church is in internal turmoil and the world is in global turmoil. Perhaps it's time to build another ark, or move to Neptune.

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Quote for the Day – "I don't need a psychiatrist, I'm Catholic." Dorothy Kilgallen

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Bret Burquest is the author of 12 books. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a couple of dogs and where there is no shortage of churches.

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