While attending flight school in early 2001, Zacarias
Moussaoui sought instruction on how to steer an airplane but had no interest in
taking off or landing the thing. This led to his detainment by authorities,
causing him to miss a plane flight on September 11, 2001, where he was to be
the 20th terrorist on that fateful day.
Moussaoui was subsequently indicted by a federal grand jury
on six counts of conspiracy, including intent to murder and intent to use
weapons of mass destruction. Four of the counts are punishable by death. At
first, Moussaoui refused to make a plea. Later he pleaded guilty, stating he
wanted avoid the death penalty because his religion specifically forbids
suicide. The judge refused to accept the plea.
QUESTIONS -- If Moussaoui’s religion strictly forbids
suicide, why hijack an airplane to kill lots of people, including himself? And
if his objective is to kill as many infidels as possible before expiring in the
effort, thereby being rewarded with eternity in heaven in the company of 70
virgins, why be concerned with his own mortality?
ANSWER -- Perhaps Moussaoui and his associates weren’t
honorable soldiers in a grand crusade after all. Perhaps they were just a bunch
of crazy jerks.
Recently, a New York City lawyer has filed suit against
McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken Corporation.
Apparently, he has a client with a fondness for fast foods who has become
obese with the resulting high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
QUESTION – What do you have when you bury a bunch of lawyers
up to their necks in sand?
ANSWER – Not enough sand.
On July 26, 2002, CNN News reported that several witnesses
in the Washington DC area saw bright orange and blue lights in the sky. The
news announcer went on to say that two F-16s were scrambled out of nearby
Andrews Air Force but the unidentified objects disappeared before the planes
could intercept them and mysteriously vanished from radar. Then the announcer
added, with a smirk on his face, that there were no sightings of little green
men.
QUESTION – Is it possible for intelligent life to exist
elsewhere in the universe?
ANSWER -- If you divide all the known stars (suns) in the
known universe equally among all the human beings living on Earth, there would
be three trillion stars per person. And if only one in a million of these
potential solar systems had just one planet with intelligent life, similar to
our solar system, there would be approximately 20,000,000,000,000,000 planets
with intelligent life in our universe. If there is no intelligent life
elsewhere, an awful lot of planetary bodies are going to waste. He who smirks
at the unknown is a fool.
President George Bush once had a private screening of the movie
GOLDMEMBER and claimed it was one of the best movies he had ever seen. During a
TV interview with Barbara Walters during his presidency, Bill Clinton stated
that NAKED GUN was his all-time favorite movie. Both of these films were made
to target junior high school boys who are easily amused by buxom babes and
bathroom humor.
QUESTION – Why do we keep electing these immature man-boys
to be our leader?
ANSWER – Because immature people need leaders and tend to
elect one of their own.
___________
Quote for the Day – “Learn from the mistakes of
others – you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.” Groucho Marx
___________
Bret Burquest is the author of 9 books. He lives
in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and usually has more
questions than answers.
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