Water Voyageurs

There are two kinds of adventurers -- those who go hoping to find adventure and those who go secretly hoping they won’t

On July 17, 1930, two high school buddies from Minneapolis, Eric Sevareid and Walter Port, boarded their canoe on the Mississippi River, near Minneapolis, and headed south. Soon, they turned right on the Minnesota River and traveled north-northwest, all the way to Big Stone Lake in South Dakota, the source of the river.

They navigated onto Lake Traverse and followed the Red River north, eventually reaching Lake Winnipeg in Manitoba. Then they went northeast through uncharted territory of rivers, lakes and hostile (sparsely inhabited) terrain, and ended up on the shore of Hudson Bay.

The entire journey took 14 weeks and covered 2,200 miles.

The following year, Eric Sevareid enrolled at the University of Minnesota and received his B.A. degree in 1935. He wrote a book titled CANOEING WITH THE CREE, recounting the trip, and later became a TV broadcaster, alongside Walter Cronkite, on the CBS Evening News, where he earned two Emmy Awards. He died in 1992.

Sevareid's account of the journey is filled with peril and misery, including constant rain, dangerous rapids and lengthy portages where they had to haul their canoe and provisions over soggy tundra to the next body of water.

"Day and night, the drizzle did not cease for so much as an hour. The woods oozed with water, every leaf held a pond, every dead twig and log was rotten with wetness. We had paddled a canoe twenty-two hundred miles, had survived, and had proved nothing except we could paddle a canoe twenty-two hundred miles."

Maybe they didn't prove anything to the rest of the world, but they probably proved something to themselves.

In 1970, I was in graduate school at the University of Minnesota and had five weeks to kill between summer school and fall quarter. So a friend of mine, named Kent, and I decided to take a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota and Ontario, Canada.

We were just a couple of restless pool hall fixtures in search of an adventure. I was bored and Kent’s train of thought was missing a caboose. I figured we’d make a good team.

We started out on Gunflint Lake, on the border of Minnesota and Ontario. After two full days of paddling upstream on a river system connecting a string of small lakes, we made it to a tiny island in the middle of Big Saganaga Lake where we were stuck for three more days because of heavy winds and turbulent waters.

When we finally got off the huge windy lake, we headed west along the Rainy River to Knife Lake where we made a wide loop up into Canada for nine days, then came back down across the U.S. border into a laborious grind from lake to lake and over difficult portages, some of which were several miles across rugged ground.

During our entire trip, which started after Labor Day when summer vacationers were scarce, we only ran into another party of voyageurs on one occasion. We met them in the middle of a lake as they were traveling in the opposite direction. Basically, the two of us were alone in the wilderness, far from the troubles of the world.

All in all, we covered a few hundred miles and it took 26 days to return to civilization.

It was a grand experience, but not one Kent or I wanted to repeat soon. Besides the physical challenge of hauling a large, heavy canoe and well over two hundred pounds of provisions (tent, sleeping bags, spare clothes, food, etc.) over rough footing between lakes, there was also the challenge of getting along and pulling together.

Sevareid reported that he and Port had gotten into a campfire wrestling tussle over their differences, no doubt prompted by the stress of the journey and the lack of a way out of the situation without completing the trip.

Kent and I had plenty of disputes, but were too exhausted to get into a physical altercation. Instead, we alternated between teamwork and bickering. We were stuck with each other and needed to finish what we started before we ran out of food, so we kept plugging away across water and land until we eventually made it back to square one.

In the end, we proved nothing, except we could paddle a canoe a few hundred miles. We also learned that mosquitoes never sleep, Kent couldn't read a map, and neither one of us was very easy to live with.

A life without adventure is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, without the peanut butter and jelly. If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
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Quote for the Day -- “Tenacity is a pretty fair substitute for bravery.” Eric Sevareid
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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and is easy to get along with once people learn to worship him. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111
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Golden Gophers and Flying Queens

The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) issued an edict to colleges in 2006 that they were banned from the use of "hostile or abusive" American Indian nicknames, mascots and logos for their sports teams. Schools that fail to comply will be ineligible to participate in bowl games.

At least 18 schools are deemed to have hostile or abusive nicknames, including Illinois Fighting Illini, Florida State Seminoles, Utah Utes, Virginia Wahoos, Central Michigan Chippewas, Mississippi College Choctaws, North Dakota Fighting Sioux, Arkansas State Indians and Southeast Oklahoma State Savages.

Some schools have already changed their nicknames anticipating the new rule. St. John's (New York) went from Redmen to Red Storm, Marquette (Milwaukee) from Warriors to Golden Eagles and Stonehill College (Massachusetts) from Chieftains to Skyhawks.

I went to college at the University of Minnesota. We were the Golden Gophers, named after a small rodent that lives in a hole in the ground. In 2008, the University of Minnesota had tried to schedule a football game with the University of North Dakota, but it was rejected by Minnesota school officials because of the Fighting Sioux nickname that was considered offensive to Native Americans.

Even though the Standing Rock Indian Reservation and the Spirit Lake Sioux Tribes in North Dakota are internally divided on this issue, the North Dakota State Board of Higher Education approved to retire the "Fighting Sioux" nickname in May of 2009, with full compliance no later than August 1, 2010.

While colleges scramble to adhere to political correctness regarding American Indians, it probably won't end with college sports. As a concerned citizen who wishes to offend everyone equally, I have a couple of suggestions for pro football teams with American Indian mascots that will not offend the object of the nickname.

Washington Redskins -- Washington Wishy-Washies
Kansas City Chiefs -- Kansas City Canker Sores

However, if we are to be politically correct with the American Indian, we must also be politically correct with nicknames that potentially demean other members of the human race, such as Notre Dame Fighting Irish (not too many Irish on the team) and Purdue Boilermakers (obviously offensive to makers of boilers).

Others include Nebraska Cornhuskers, Oklahoma Cowboys, Callifornia-Santa Barbara Gauchos, Mississippi Rebels, Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns, Union College Dutchmen, Hofstra Flying Dutchmen, Wilmington College Quakers, Earlham College Hustlin' Quakers, Cleveland State Vikings, Bethany College Swedes and Lyon College Scots.

Thus, I have a list of suggestions for pro football that will eliminate the human race from being the object of political incorrectness.

Minnesota Vikings – Minnesota Mosquitoes
Houston Texans – Houston Houseplants
Pittsburgh Steelers – Pittsburgh Potbellies
Dallas Cowboys – Dallas Dipsticks
Oakland Raiders – Oakland Oxymorons
Tennessee Titans – Tennessee Tenderfoots
Cleveland Browns – Cleveland Clodhoppers
Green Bay Packers – Green Bay Packages
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa Bay Buck Passers
New York Giants – New York Gnats
New Orleans Saints – New Orleans Sissies
New England Patriots – New England Pansies

At least it's not quite as bad as Illinois College Blue Boys, Columbia College Claim Jumpers, California-Long Beach Dirtbags, California-Santa Cruz Banana Slugs and Wayland Baptist Flying Queens.

Perhaps being a Golden Gopher isn't so bad after all. I'd rather be a rodent than a Flying Queen.
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Quote for the Day – "Football combines the two worst things about America – violence punctuated by committee meetings." George Will
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Bret Burquest is an award-winning columnist and author of four novels. He lives in the Ozark Mountains with a dog named Buddy Lee and where rodents run free. His blogs appear on several websites, including www.myspace.com/bret1111
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